Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Im 21 and very very happily married. My husbands the best, never ever cheated on me or would even think of it. If anyone would do anything stupid 2 screw up this relationship, it would b me, meaning cus I am the dumb one and I trust him even more then I trust myself. Anyways, I have a small problem. I tend to get very jealous when I see him just LOOK over at a women. It kills me inside. He never flirts or anything other then just look over. Im a really confident and happy women with myself. Its nothing having to do with me not trusting him either. As I said earlier, I trust him more then even myself. More then anything. How can I get rid of this small jealousy that sumtimes turns into a HUGE argument? I try to let it slide and not think of it as a big thing, but it constantly hurts me soo badly inside, that the only way I think of calming myself is by making him jealous back. Sorry, I know that is wrong, but I want to get rid of this dumb jealousy over nothing. Everyone looks right? I look, he looks, the difference is, he keeps quiet about it, and lets it slide past cus hes not going to make a big thing out of nothing, but I seem to throw a fit time to time. It really sucks and I want to change it... what are some good ways for me to control and slowly get rid of it? Any ideas for my situation? Thanks ! xx
I suffered through this exact same anxiety for a long time.
It does suck, I know.
Since you only have fits occasionally I would recommend eliminating PMS from the equation. Keep track of these fits and compare them to your menstrual cycle. If there is a correlation then that could be a clue to helping you avoid the fits. Knowledge of a cause of irritation can often lessen the irritation.
If the fits are random then ask your b/f to help you identify them before they get out of hand. He could possibly see them coming before you do since we rarely can anticipate our own fits. When he sees it coming, he could give you the peace sign to warn you. The step is yours. Tell him you love him and trust him and that you understand everybody looks but that sometimes it bothers you a lot. Then its his turn to apologize for hurting you.
Sounds complicated but it might work! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com