Her confusion confuses me...Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
There is this girl that I've been talking to and stuff for a little while now, like off and on for three months. At first I was certain she was into me, we went to a basketball game (we both love basketball, it wasn't like I forced her somewhere she didn't want to go,) we had a great time, and a good time after when we went to dinner. The next day at school, things were going great. For the next week things were going fine, we didn't have a lot of time to talk, but we did talk and stuff. The next week I was going to ask her to go to a movie with me, but I noticed that she was hanging out with this other guy, a lot, a lot a lot, so I thought to myself "dang, what am I supposed to do about this?" I waited a little bit and we didn't talk much, a mistake by me I know but it's in the past now, anyways, the guy that I was pretty sure she was in to left the school. After my basketball game one day I stuck around for a while and she came up to me and was like "Hey, we haven't talked for a while, what's up?" And it was like she was into me again. I thought "OK, well, obviously it's my fault for being ignorant and she was into me all along," so I asked her to go to a movie with me. She said yes, but we didn't go because she had a family thing come up, it was serious she didn't blow me off, it was something that was real and she couldn't miss. OK...that was fine...We hung out some and we had a dance, the thing popped up out of no where with no advertising so I didn't ask her but we both ended up going dateless, like most peole that went because the committee was dumb, and basically, we danced only with each other. We went out to eat with our mutual friends and her and I flirted a lot. The next week, we broke off communication again, I was intimidated to talk to her because she was showing a lot of interest in another guy again, and it wasnn't like we were even close to having a serious relationship and it was open for either of us to go out with whoever we wanted...Anyways, a while later we started talking again, like nothing had happened, strange, but true. We went to the movies with some freinds, but we were late so our friends and us went to someone's house and just hung out. It went well between her and I, but not like before, still, well. I ended up asking her to go to prom with me. This time she said "no" her answer and explanation was in a letter, she said that "she was very flattered to have been asked by me, she didn't want me asking her and her saying no to hurt our 'friendship,' and she said she didn't want a date because she didn't want to be 'held down' and it would be more fun without a date that's why we shouldn't 'even' go as 'friends'." That basically made me figure she didn't want anything more than a friendship. I didn't respond for a cuople of weeks because baseball started, I was out of town, and I had to think. Eventually I did though, and now it hasn't been awkward at all. The problem is that, now she's flirting more than before I asked her to prom. I think it's likely that she still likes the guy that left our school, but I think also likes me because of the way she talks to me, and the way she flirts with me. I mean, I like her, I don't love her, but I'm happy to go out with her if she likes me...very happy...I think she is confused as to who she likes and what she wants, the other guy and I have two very different things to offer her. I'd give her a more real and more grown-up relationship than him, but he is more of a partier than me, not to say I'm not fun, I'm just busy with sports. I think she also knows that he isn't at a point where he would commit to a relationship, and I think she knows I would. My theory is that is where she is confused, what does she want. But of course, she might not even like me...she did say "no" and that she didn't want to "hurt our friendship." So back to my title, her confusion confuses me. I hear it takes about a month to get replied to and I can't linger for that long, I'm going to try and go to a movie with her and a friend of mine and get him to go with a girl, kind of like a double-date, but not really, it's spring break here and she isn't doing anything anyways. Well, Do what you can to help me out, even though you may end up as confused as I am...Thanks...
P.S. Sorry it was so long, I figured that if I could explain my situation well, your answer could be shorter and easier...it's not even a page long though with MLA formatting...
I don't think she is confused.
She sounds like a flirtaceous girl who isn't ready for a commitment and enjoys her freedom.
Your idea about going to a move sounds good. Keep a good friendship going because when she becomes ready to settle down you want to be nearby.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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