Have I driven him away?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex and I split up 4 weeks ago after two and half years of being together. We split up for a couple of days in September last year over something which seemed quite trivial at the time (I had critiscised some decorating he had done - he later said his ex partner had made him feel bad like this). However since then things have been great between us. The he turned arounbd and said he thought the relationship wouldn't go any further despite the fact he had tried all he could to take it further. he asked me to move in with him last year but I didn't as I wasn't ready at the time, but he has said he felt really rejected and this changed things for him. We also looked at a house at Christnmas but it was too expensive and he has sicne said that altough I liked the house I didn't seem "enthralled with the idea". I suggested we could move in together now but he said he doesn't know if he wants that now. However he says he loves me and since we split up "missing me like crazy". He also mentioned that when I finsih my uni course in 2 years I may move away so if we end up splitting up then we may as well do it now! I have no intention of moving away (I had mentioned a couple of weeks prior to us splitting up that one of my friends had a on a post grad course that I want to do which was out of our area) so this has obviously played on his mind. He said take some time out which I did and we didn't speak/see one another for a week but then turned that around and said I was really cold and he felt like I wasn't bothered! I went away for a weekend with my friends (which had been planned for months) then when I came back we had split up! I just feel like I have pushed him away as i was scared to committ and know we did have a good relationship, one that was worth fighting for. I have stopped trying to contact him for a week now and thought maybe I will just not conract him for a while and see what happens but the thought he says he loves me (loads according to him) and misses me just makes it seem like a stupid decision to split up!!!
First you need to get in communication with him again.
Then make it clear to him that you want to live with him and that you are not going to move away after graduating. Also make it clear to him that your relationship is vital to you and that you are committed to making it stronger.
He seems to be hurt and confused. Help him out.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com