want him back but ex being very resolute
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
okay so at the beginning of the relationship we were perfect cause i was independent and he was so attentive. but then we started getting close and i started getting needy and trying to change him, getting so emotional and dependent. this stressed him out cause he never talked about problems and it all built up. it must've been very painful that i never seemed to accept him the way he was. it also stressed me out cause i constantly felt rejected since he never really opened up. anyway this went on and on for months til we finally broke up. it's been two months, we still love each other but we were just too incompatible. when we first broke up i was still so needy and pathetic. at first we agreed to be friends, but after a few days it was too much for him cause it was making it so hard for him to forget me, so he got angry and told me to leave him alone and stop caring about him. now we are like strangers except we always look at each other and catch ourselves at it, and we obviously still love each other, but he's very determined to get over me and move on. he's so tough and i appear to be doing fine without him but it's tearing me up inside. i really miss him and i want him back. but i don't know how to approach him and i have a feeling he's not going to allow himself to give it another try. he's just so resolute and dignified. we see each other in school everyday but we ignore each other. what should i do? how should i approach him? i don't think it's possible to be friends (he wouldnt allow himself to do something like that)but i don't know what i should say and how. i have to show him i still care but i can't appear needy.. how does that work out? if we get another chance i'm gonna be so much more understanding and i think we'll work out this time. all i need is for him to give me a chance. but i don't think he will. what should i do? it seems like the only intention he has is to forget me.
The chances of things working out your way are slim.
First thing to do is to reestablish contact with him in school. Try to say hi to him and hope he answers. If he does, keep saying hi whenever you can and see where it leads.
His problem is that he is afraid to reveal his emotions and maybe this is why he doesn't want to be friends too. So don't poke into his feelings too much or he will shy away again.
My guess is that your relationship with him is over but I hope some of the things above might help a little.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com