im still in love with her

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
i have currently been dating a girl for 4 months. i really care about her a lot. but she lives in canada and i live in california. it costs me 4000 dollars just to go see her. i havnt been able to come up with that much money ue to bills and what not, an she is starting to think that i am getting col feet an just dont want to go see her. i would really like to go there and visit her for a few weeks like ive planned, but its just so hard. and with her thinking so negatively about me going up there its making it even harder. we are on the verge of breaking up. but thats not my biggest problem. my biggest problem is that i recently just started talking to my ex girlfriend again. we are "friends" right now, but i know im still in love with her. we still do things like we used to do when we were going out. stay up to watch the sunrise together. go to the mountain to over look the city. i know she knows i still love her very much. i also know that she still loves me. what we hadd was so special. one of those things that doesnt hapen twice in a lifetime. one of those things that never goes away. i ask her how she honestly still feels about me and if she thinks that maybe someday could be together again but i always seem to ask at the wrong time. but just looking into her eyes i know everythings still there. how do i choose one without hurting the other? i really care about my current g/f but i dont think its going anywhere. i still am in love with my ex and when i get to talk to her its so comforting and healing to me, but when i go back home all i can do is fall to my knees and cry. ive aske people for help, but it seems every answer i get is not the one i want to hear. what do you think? Advice
I think your Candadian girlfriend is not going to work out due to distance.

And, your relationship with your ex sounds reachable and would make you very happy. Break up with your Canadian girlfriend and then keep doing what you have been doing with your ex. The things you do sound like you two have a good chance of getting back together again.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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