He Won't Talk

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I have been thinking alot lately about my relationship with my "guy friend". I love him alot but it seems that he just won't open up to me. I feel kind of slighted that I constantly tell him things about me (just so that I can break the ice a little betweem us) and he hardly tells things about himself to me. I want to get closer but nothing seems to work. The more I open up the more he backs off. What's wrong?!

RomanceClass.com Advice
As much as we can say "Men are from Mars", lots of guys are actively taught by their parents (and by movies) to not talk about their feelings. They're told "don't be a crybaby" and "be a man!" and so on. So this guy has years and years of training hammered into his head about revealing weaknesses. That's not easy to fight.

It could be that he's just afraid of talking about personal things. Find some sort of area that he feels comfortable about. Most guys have hobbies and love talking about them. That's a personal topic but it's a "normal" one to talk about. So get him talking about his hobbies and interests, and after a while he'll come to trust you and realize that he can reveal things about himself and you won't judge him or laugh. It'll take time, but it's worth it.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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