"making love out of nothing at all"?

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I have dated this woman in my apartment complex four times, and have gone to church with her one time. I was crushed when on our last date I asked her out for valentines day and she responded with "I should keep the day open in case someone else ask me out". This other person seems to rule her life, and has known her for over a decade but only occasionally pops in such as on holidays and special occasions. I respect her devotion to him and I know that I am a fool for falling for her, but she is worth it. She is a wonderful person. Christian, Teacher, outstanding, and reputable, truly a lady in all character.
I have another date with her coming up soon, and find myself wanting to go further with her in depth with a relationship other than, were going out while he is not around. I play second fiddle to no one normally, but I find her in my thoughts and worth every effort I can manage.

The problem is two:
1: How can I express that this fellow seems to be using her and I will not, and not come out liken to the bad guy, while at the same time, expressing that I am the type of person that will fully and honorably devote to her my life if necessary. Otherwise, I am the real deal, and not playing around wasting her life romanticizing on a false hope.
2:Romantic at heart, why is she doing this if she does not like me enough to further our relationship? Does it sound like I am being too naive "making love out of nothing at all"?

RomanceClass.com Advice
The problem is that you are new in this relationship.

You have only had four dates and that isn't time for her to start forming a new relationship. You don't need to tell her anything about the other fellow, she has thought about it a lot already and doesn't want to hear you offering your opinion. If she starts to open up and is ready to talk about it then you can let her know how you feel.

My advice is to try to hold back your stronger feelings for her less of a priority and wait and see if she catches up with you.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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