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Finally officially dating

I don't know when I fell in love with her. I can't put a date on it. She had been my friend since I was in 8th grade. I remember when I first saw her. She was wearing some ridiculous multicolored elf hat, her face bright red from laughing at what someone said. I watched her from across the class room. I knew in that moment I wanted to be friends with her.

She came out as Bi-sexual very shortly after I met her. That was the first time I questioned the possibly of being gay. Over the course of 6 years of friendship I noticed my thoughts for her were clearly more then a friend. I denied it till I was a senior in highschool. I told 3 friends that I thought I might be Bisexual, her being one of them.

She had a boyfriend. It killed me to watch her kiss him but I wanted her to be happy. I didn't think I could give her the things a guy could in a relationship. Their relationship was finally reaching an end and during our last school field trip together I gave away I that I liked her more then a friend. I didn't say it out loud nor did I kiss her but she knew.

THEN SHE TORMENTED ME WITH IT! I was fully prepared to overlook the whole thing and continue being friends but she started getting more aggressive! it was small things, hand on my thigh, making flirty faces. She was still with her boyfriend and I was so scared and uncomfortable with my sexuality. Nothing happened until I after I graduated.

First, she tried to ask me out...but I faked being oblivious to the fact. I was so happy and scared that she wanted a relationship. I wanted to be with her, but it would mean making such a huge step out of the closet.

The second time she asked me out I had stopped by her house after registering for some classes at the local college. We were just talking on her bed, laying next to each other. The conversation stopped and we both laid there in silence, wanting to kiss each other but too afraid to make the first move. After what seemed like forever she finally kissed me.

It was magical. I'm not kidding. I was always the hopeless romantic growing up and I wouldn't be in a relationship unless I got butterflies all over my body when I was with them. (Aka Dateless all throughout highschool!)

I believe I'm a lesbian but I Know I love her. She's my best friend, she excites me, takes care of me when I'm sad, makes me smile and she's all I want to think about.

She's my first relationship so I've been learning one step at a time. Slowly but surely we're learning how each other works. I was surprised with how much our relationship changed but I don't regret it for a second.

We've been officially dating for one year plus 6 years of sexual frustration. <3


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