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It still isn't over

I'm a sagittarius. When I was 20 I met a girl at Uni, who quickly became the love of my life. She was a Libra. Green eyes, hair the colour of sand, cotton candy voice and a starburst smile. I didn't imagine that she'd think much of me, but I later descovered, aside from my charming wit, all I needed were my dark eyes to grab her attention.

In the summer that we were together, we were inseperable. Our days were filled with laughter that echoed through the mountain stained landscape, made love every night by the firelight and lay under a blanket of stars talking until the golden sun rose strips of light on her bare back. That was my best time.

And then the summer was over and we were back to our studies. And even though our summer had deminished, my ego had not. Our first day back and I didn't acknowledge her.I wanted to get a first in all my exams. I was the lead in every show, acting opposite beautiful women who I got to reherse with every evening... and I neglected her. I used her to soften the sting of my lonliness at night and by morning went back to ignoring her. I was breaking her heart and I knew I was doing it, but I couln't stop until I was the object of everyones affection.

In her despair she told me one day that she was moving away. I didn't stop her. I wanted to be with her. I loved her. But I was so wrapped up in myself I couldn't tell her to stay. And in my arrogance I assumed she would come back. Or wait for me.

But she didn't.

It's been three years and I think about her all the time. I've had girlfriends since and slept around enough to merit being a called a word or two. My life is great and my career is taking off. But I'm empty. I miss her. I thought about calling her up, but then I found out she was living with someone, and their 5 month old baby. Only God knows how much I loved her. How much I love her still. I was supposed to be the father of her child. It was supposed to be me.

It wasn't over. It still isn't over.


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