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I hate that he doesn't know

It all started with the summer of 2010. The love of my life(Richard, or so i thought) in second grade who i have not seen in years, came back to the 6th grade. Exciting and wonderful right? Well in my situation it wasn't. I was in a "relationship" with a guy named Alexis. The love of my life, the only who held me up. The one who cared. As my best friend, Sheila introduced me to Richard, my eyes could not believe it. My soul just stood in shock. I thought i had fallen in love again, but could it be possible to e in love with two guys? i thought not. But i didn't tell anyone of the feelings i had for Richard for he was my first crush. Time passes by and Richard has a girlfriend. Now as most of us (teens) might get jealous i didn't cuz, well, i just wanted him happy. My love for Alexis however began to fall apart. We called each other less, stopped talking, stopped hugging each other. And as i remark my peers and friends remarks, i remember my friend saying "Are you sure you're not going through depression?" as i heard that i couldn't take it no more. Me and Alexis went on and off as a couple. As this happened i was drawn to Richard, made me laugh, hugged me, and well things that me and Alexis used to do. Now at my school (Foshay L.C) we had a summer of innovation program with NASA! It was very fun, until i heard some quite disturbing news. I had heard that... Richard had broken up with Alejandra (ex) and was going out with one of my friends (Stephanie). I guess i was happy for him. Then the 7th grader got in the picture..Wilmer, the funny green-eyed cutie (not anymore though!) swept my feet away. Sent me some letters of amorous quotes and words. And eventually i knew i didn't lie him because i "loved" Richard. So me and Wilmer were no longer and neither were Alexis and i. SO as time is passing by, Richard breaks up with Stephanie! But no one knows for who! And as every girl falls for him, he rejects everyone of them. Which i found very surprising! During the summer program (for Cadets) My friends and i went to the park that was nearby (a little park by normandie)anyways, he used to push me on the swings and tickle me and well we had fun! It was then when he told me who he liked. And that person was, Me. All this time that he talked to me, hugged me, tickle me, he did not say that he "loved" me. I stood in shock. the only things popping in my head were omg i love you too!. But i had to keep my guard up. For was the one who always ended in heartache. Alexis checked out girls i was ok with it because that's what guys do. But he ended up lying to me so screw him! But hes my friend now. Wilmer ended up as a friend as well. Turns out he was a player. And well as i had my guard up, Richard was either obsessed with me or was the only girl he wanted. He sent me cute songs, saying i love you, giving me my new nick name "Ana" because i had always paid attention to Liliana instead of my real name Lilly. Back to the point. He was i guess "in love" or obsessed with me. And when i came to my senses that maybe for once i should let my guard down was when i told him "i love you Richard." And He said "Lilly, i love you too", romantic rite? And on the date of 9-25-10 we started going out. He bought me skittles, called me his babe, his ever after, and he was my forever.We sat next to each other in class (and still do)and when the teachers weren't looking we held hands. We kissed of course, And i just felt butterflies in my stomach. Everything was great 'til that mistake that i made, breaking up with him. I wasn't good enough for him. I never was. All i thought was "He deserves better than me." And so i broke up with him. It took me almost a whole day to say it. So he said ok. I cried, prayed, talked to myself hoping he was okay hoping that he had fond someone better than me. And he did. He found another Alejandra, except this Alejandra was my best friend, she knew i still lied him, but she stabbed me in the back anyways. They hadn't last long which came to my surprise because Richard was confused about who he "loved" because he said that he still had feelings for me. I still loved him of course so we were together secretly. To admit it, it was kinda hot, you know having a secret relationship. Any-who, he thought that he had no feelings for Alejandra and i so he then went out with another best friend of mine karla. The funny part in this is that they both looked like me! So as he was going out with karla i stood shocked cu i had told karla that i had still liked Richard. Guess she stabbed me in the back too. Well, they didn't last long either add then guess what? Richard came back to me. But my dumb xxx self fell for him again! And well later on he got confused and "threw" me away. And now we are to the present Jan.4,2011. He is currently dating Alejandra again(the Bff). By now he hates me. But what kills me is him not knowing that i still and always have loved him. I hate the fact that he doesn't know on the date of March 15, 2005, is when i first saw him. Love at first or not, i got to know him he knew all my secrets but this one. I love you Richard.


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