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He came to my country to meet me

He came to my country to meet me. Because he was the ex of my friend. Summer boyfriend.
When he came we did lots of things together. And my french teacher met him. She said that he was looking at me like he was realy in love. I was thrilled cuz I liked him too. On the first day. One thing we did most together was lying on my bed and just looking at eachother (nothing). We went to the theatre together (some other day) but the show was canceled so we went and had a walk in the park by the river. When we got to the liebrery we talked and talked and looked at eachother and looked more. When I got home I get text messages from him that he misses me and he wants to see me. I was jumping out of joy. (thirteen year old teen.. what can I say?)

One day it was really cold outside and my nose has a habbit to become red and cold during that time. We had to get out of the house cause my mum didnt want us alone there. So we went to a big park near my house. There I put my head on his sholder and we held hands because it was cold. I watched his finger gently going over mine, I felt him touch my hair. It was simply beautiful. Even though it was freezing in the park. We decided to go back to my place (out of the freezing weather).

When we got home, we did our usual ''thing''. Laying on the bed. But this was different. We were still holding hands but trying not to look at eachother (even though I reolized that he was watching me).

We came closer and closer and he kissed me. It lasted a bit long. But I didn't care at all! We stoped and a weird thing came out of his mouth: ''I can't even look at you now''. I was a bit freaked out but he was smiling so hard that it didn't matter. I can just go on and on and on about how I felt in that moment.
2 days later I came to his apparment and that hole day we were kissing (even though I had plans for us to do that day I liked this more).

It was his last day and I didn't want to even think about it!!

I wanted to take a photo of us but I didn't because I knew that when he left I was gonna be realy fragile and sad. So I couldn't bare a reminder of ''us''.
When he actually left I couldn't believe it! I was crying that day. I didn't sleep, study, THINK, nor eat.

Just about one month since our first kiss I found out that he was with another girl during our time together! Can you even imagine the look on my face for the next week?! She didn't even live in his country. Obviously they were just having a ''internet\phone\text\letter'' relationship!!

I was crushed ofcourse. Me and that other girl became good friends. And I sorta liked her (as a friend), so I told her that we were together during his time in my country. She didn't even believe it.

So I send him a ''nice'' letter about how I feel about him doing that.
And his reply was: 'Calm down. You are a good friend. And I think I really like her. I didn't cheat on you. Don't worry! I'm just not that kind of guy.'

And yet he wants to be friends now... How do I take that? I just didn't. I can't. And I don't consider him as a friend. Not even now.
I feel like a fool. And I know I have to go on.

But I still feel the pain sometimes.


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