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I'm kind of a Philophobic but amazingly he is the first and only person I don't feel uneasy being close to for the rest of my life

We met in class. We didn't talk to each other right away though. Later on we got real close, We woudl tell each other things we would not tell anyone else. He would tell me about the girl he was in love with who wouldn't love him back. He was my new best friend. But stupidly just as a good friend was supposed to, I advised him on how to get the girl he liked for over a year. That is what I was supposed to do right?

Later on when it actually worked and he told me he was going out with her, I felt something I never felt before. I tried to ignore it as much as I could but when I finally confessed everything to my friends, they said it just a phase I was going through, that I never liked him. Since he has a girl friend now, at first I tried to give him some space. But he kept continuing contact me, saying he can't talk to his girlfriend like he talks to me. Later I fessed up to my friends on what I was doing, they disapproved our on going relationship and advised me to keep a distance. They told me he was doubling and that I was just the other girl. I've decided to not contact him anymore because I found myself saying yes to him all time as well. Like when he asks me to meet him, I always go out and when he messages me I always reply back to him.

He is leaving the country in a few days. I hate that I can not spend the remaining time with him, because I know he has to spend it with his girlfriend.
Maybe I should fess up when he leaves, just to get it off my chest? But this scares the hell out of me, I've never done anything or felt anything like this before. Has anyone whos reading this felt that they've met someone who is just..different from anyone else they've met in their entire existence til now? I'm so afraid of what will happen when I tell him the truth, I don't know what to do. I don't even know if this is what you call love because nothing like this ever happened to me. He's just the complete opposite of what I was searching for in a guy, but here he is in my life, at this moment in my life..would I be losing something if I just let this go? I'm kind of a Philophobic but amazingly he is the first and only person I don't feel uneasy being close to for the rest of my life..


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