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actually, my cousin A is my grandpa's sister's grand son. it is when i am 14 started as attraction but turned to infatuation when i am 15. ITS ALL DUE TO HIM .but i am really in great anger. during a family function me, my bros, my cousins played together a kid's game but it was really good to play that. A always sit near me while playing even i get away from that place and sat somewhere else. its all strange to me thinking why he was behaving unusual. my bros tried to cheat him while playing but none was there to support him.

at that time he saw my eyes and his eyes requested me to support him. i supported him and my bros got their mouth shut up. from that time A always talk to me seeing my eyes. i fell. after 6 months we saw in my grandpa's house. he will always take time to start a talk. on that night he, me and his bro and my bro were sitting in a bed and watching tv. we just talked about some school incidents. then in the morning unusually i got up at 6:30 itself. but my eyes were filled sleepiness. i went and sat on the dining table. A's younger sis also woke early so she had her bath in a bathroom in the room where her bros sleeping when she came out she tried to woke A. he shouted at her but when he saw me (my eyes) he wake up the next moment. then when it was 9am me , he and his bro were playing cards at that in one game when i was in a critical situation he said he would help me and came near me.

i dont know how to express my feelings when he came near me i closed my eyes with my heart beating so fast .but his bro said hey he is seeing ur cards he is not helping u. suddenly i got up and said i wont sit near u i am going to sit near his bro but he promised me that he wont do that and asked me to sit near him. i agreed. after that,they began to play cricket and A asked me to play wid them that to by his eyes. but i said no. he requested me many times through his eyes but i was not in a mood to play. wen they started playing my uncle hitted many fours and sixers. i just clapped. wen A comes to play he intentionally used his full energy to hit big sixes not for raising the score but to gain my attention. once the ball went into the house i went inside and searched the ball and took it to them. i threw it right to his bro but he ran across and caught the ball it was like that the ball thrown by me should only be caught by him. then he also asked me to go inside the house saying you may get hit by the ball but it is plastic ball.

then it was time for him to leave i just sat in front of tv gazing at power rangers but my eyes r filled with tears. then he said bye and left but again he said bye through the window. i fell again.

after a year we saw each other in my school just for 10 sec.i am really excited when i saw him. after that we havent met but there were many family functions nearly 15 but he didnt attend anyone of them. finally i met him but i dont want to speak with him even i dont want to see him. sometimes i will decide to forget him but i cant....... i want him to love me or hate me but he is not doing either one. i dont know what is in his mind or heart or i dont know if he is struggling like me. but i always had a feeling that he is the one who is a right match for me who can control me who can love me who can scold me who can see my eyes and talk and who can control my angriness and many more...

but i wont propose him throughout my life but if he does i will accept it...

thanks for reading


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