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He Remembers nothing
It's been three years... three years since I first laid eyes on the darling boy whom I love with all my heart. For privacy purposes we're gonna call him c. and my name is going to be j.
alright... this story is confusing. confusing and wonderful and happy and heartbreaking. anyway, here's how it started. I met my wonderful c my first day of 8th grade. I was a few days away from being thirteen, and he was twelve. we were in all the same classes because we weren't in real school we were in a homeschool co-op.
well the first minute I saw him I fell in love. he was one of those guys who are really cool and calm yet have a great sense of humor. he was cute too ,) well the first day I was really shy, but as the year went on, we got to be good friends. of course, I was the funny looking glasses and braces wearing girl, so we were nothing more than friends.
about 6 months passed and be started coming to my church. I was thrilled! everything was practically perfect in my life now! every once in a while he would sort of say flirty things to me, and sometimes, my friends told me that we were cute together and they swore he would show off to me and that he liked me. I was really happy when they said that.
well there came this one day where the class I was in decided to turn on me and start teasing me about him! he then decided to notify me that he knew I liked him. being the stupid eight grader that I was, I was mortified. well, more months passed and we spent more time together. then I found out that he would go to a real school next year. I was so sad... but at least he still went to my church.
one day I got my braces off and contacts. I believe that the first time he saw me looking normal is the first time he liked me, because not to brag, but I wasn't all that funny looking without braces and glasses. in fact, people tell me they I'm pretty.
ok, so it had Been a year and a half since I'd me him and I was now 14 while he was 13. we were at a Christmas party. we were having a great time together, but I had to leave. he jokingly told me he loved me like 6287984388 times! I was freaking out because it wasn't like hung I even joke about that! maybe he was really starting to like me!
well February came around and I was told that for about 2 months he had been secretly going out with one of my best friends who knew all about my liking of him. I almost DIED. I talked to him about it... and a few days later he asked me if I liked him. I said yes. and he said he liked me too and that he was only going out with her because he pitied her. I was so happy. but... he never asked me out. we just spent about 5 months knowing that we both liked each other and frequently talking about it, but never reaaalllyyy doing anything about it.
well that summer, we were apart for 6 weeks. I went to r and he went to music camp. 3 days before he came back, I was just about to burst from not seeing him so long and I talked to him for about 3 hours. it was the best conversation we had ever had. we kept saying how cute each other was and how much we loved each other and then... somehow... we got in a fight. that was it.
when I saw him 3 days later, I wouldn't even look at him. I was so brokenhearted and so hurt.... to this day I'm not 100% sure what went on. I was confused and still am.
but that's not the end of my story. a few months later, after my 15th birthday (and after having known him for 2 years, we started talking as just friends. he knew I still liked him, and in a couple months I had a feeling that he almost liked me again too.
one night when my parents were out of town, I stayed up until 4 in the morning talking to him. I told him I wanted to kiss him... he told me he wanted to kiss me too... this part of the story is the hardest part for me... after telling me these things... we were so happy.... but. we were going behind our parents backs. and my friend was going to tell them about c and I if I didn't...
I told my parents about something else instead. and I was grounded. I wasn't allowed phone or Internet. I couldn't talk to him anymore. we never saw each other anymore... he forgot about everything. he forgot everything he was feeling for me in less than two weeks. when I saw him a while later, he wouldn't even look at me... he even went and complained to my friend about me.
now... now he has a girfriend. a girlfriend that he rubs in my face every time I see him... he does things with her that he told me hated to do, like dance. it's hard... so hard to see her in his arms. hard to see the way he looks at her... like she's his world.
the worst part though, is that I never had any clarity in our situation. it would have been better to be his girlfriend and have him break up with me outright rather than be totally confused.
anyway, its almost my 16th birthday. and it's almost been 3 years since I've known him. I still remember almost every moment I had with him... I still remember the way he smelled the first time I touched him... and sometimes I can feel his arms around me when I remember the first time I told him I loved him. I remember every single important date... I remember everything. and him? he remembers nothing.
5.00 out of 5 hearts
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