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Hard, hard road was worth it

It all began 6yrs ago. I met a beautiful girl that was completely opposite of what I was. I was more so the "Bad Boy' and she was the "Church Girl". I never noticed her in the beginning. It wasn't until a few months after our first encounter that I noticed her. She was quiet and kept to herself, not very outgoing with the public and very shy. We began hanging out and I guess I could say that I changed her. I brought out the "wild side" of her. We began dating and things were awesome. We kept things really good in our relationship. But I was heading in a different direction and I didn't want to take her with me. So, I broke up with her. She wrote me a letter that I'll never forget. She said we were meant to be together and she didn't want me to go. But I went anyway. Shortly after, I was arrested and spent a little over 2yrs in prison. She was the only person to come and visit me besides my father and that meant the world to me. I got the worst news possible one day from a letter she wrote me. She told me she was getting married. My heart sank to the bottom of the ocean. I loved this girl, she just didn't know it. I couldn't let her marry that guy. I arranged for her and I to visit a few days before her wedding day. I tried to express to her ho much I cared about her. I just missed one key phrase that would've changed everything, "I Love you". I never said those three words. She got married a few days later and I was crushed. I was released from prison and we ended up meeting again. Right away my feelings rushed thru my body and my heart hurt so much that I wasn't with her. We talked for a week after that and she decided to get a divorce because she said she wanted to be with me. My world was so huge right then and there, it felt like the whole universe couldn't contain the love I had for this woman. I had moved in with her at her apartment and things were awesome for a while. But, a few months later I was without her again. I had lied to her about a number of things to make myself look better. I can't believe I had done that. I violated my conditions of probation my not telling my Probation Officer that I had moved in with her. So, back in jail I was. About 6 months later, about a month before I was to be released she came and visited me. She told me that she was pregnant and that it was mine. I was over joyed. Until she told me that she was giving her up for adoption and that she wanted me to give up my parental rights. I was hurt really bad. After I got out we spoke just a couple times and I finally gave in. I signed the papers and gave up my rights. About 5 months later, her and I began speaking again. We decided to give it another try. She began feeling depressed a lot over our decision to give up our baby. I didn't know what to do. It took about a month and our relationship was in turmoil. I love this woman with everything I have but we just can't seem to make it work. We are still somewhat talking to each other, I'm still trying to work it out with her because I can't move on. Both of us has done things to each other that we both regret doing. I regret lying to her and not putting her above all and everything. I know there are regrets on her part as well and I only hope and pray that one day we can look back and say, "Yeah, it's been a hard hard road. But it was worth it". And then climb under the covers, kiss each other good night, and look forward to the days ahead that we can spend together, loving each other, just as we did in the beginning.


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