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I was scared
I pushed you away for one reason.
Right before I met you I lost my parents within a year and four months of each other. Shortly after that, the rest of my family fell apart.
When I met you, I didn't want. I have met several others before you. But YOU... I fell for you instantly and I wasn't about to lose someone else who can mean so much to me. That is why I pushed you away. That's why I continue. Because I knew and know that in my heart you would steal it away. There is no way in this can my heart stand to lose someone that I love. Love seems to fade in this world- over time. My love never fades for anyone. When I love someone I love them and am there for them for life. I have several close friends, friendships that have lasted for 27 years, 21 years, 17 years, 19 years. I was terrified that we would be meant for each other for the time being, but scared of the future. But I do love you. I always will. I'm sorry for the way I acted towards you, but it's only because I was scared of what time may hold. Sounds stupid. Doesn't make sense. But just know one thing... I love you and you will always be the one I felt was meant for me.
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