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30 Guys in 30 days

have you ever read the book"Thirty guys in 30 Days"? Well I'm alot like that girl from the book. I met what i thought was my love when I was 11. What it really was, was an obsession. I had no clue then, I was naive, guillible. I started to realize that I wasnt in love in mid november last year. I couldn't beleive it was true when we met. I was a cute but not hot or sexy Indain girl that was 11 and my luva wuz an above average, tall, american hottie. I never thot he would have eyes for me. I hat the thot uv luv at first sight, because I would never like a guy for his looks. I liked my bf for his personality and that was all I needed(uv corse the hottness helped:] ). In mid november I realized I didn't no wut luv really wuz. I was only 12. I broke up with him, but he won my heart back over. Then in Febuary one uv my friends told me luv is never true at this age but i persisted it could be. All along in the back of my head i new we werent meant to be. I had many uv my friends tellin me we werent right, but supporting me anywayz. I had friends who didn't believe me-not that i didn't blame then; it was to good to be true. Then in Febuary I realized the feeling i thought was luv was merely obsession. So i poured my heart out to this guy and I told him that I realized I dont even no wut luv is. I told him I dont no who i am, what i wanna do, and what im lookin for in a guy. I told him he deserves someone better than me. That was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. It hurt alot. I did that On Febuary 18,2008. It took alot uv courage to do that. And what was hard was that I had an obsession for him and he actauly luved me. He told me that he had never cared for his other gf's the way he did for me. He said he used them for thier bods, but seing as how i didnt exactly have a chest let me no that he meant it when he said he loved me for who i was. I told him i was giving up guys until I could figure out the answers to my questions. I've gone thru some uv the hardest days of my life wihtout hi support, but its the path I chose. Note: im writing this 2 days later but im still hurt and its still hard. We've agreed to be friends, but I feel bad for breakin his heart. I just don't feel like we are meant to be. One day I will find true love and it will be with a man that I deserve. I told my ex that he was my first luv, bf, and that he deserves a girl who will treat him right. That was the hardest thing I have ever done and I'm proud uv it. I'm srry nick if u eva read this, I really mean it.
who is also the Kissing Master


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