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True love lasts forever

Once upon a time, I was alone in the shower and then I got of the shower and changed into my onesie because it was like sooooooo cold right?! And then I got into bed but not before having my special cup of "sleepy time tea" because I have a terrible time sleeping because I can't stop thinking of this ONE guy. I'm pretty sure he is my prince charming/soulmate. Do you believe in love at first sight? I know I do. The first I saw him I was at a really bumping party at my friend Trisha's house (her parents were not even there - COOLEST!) drinking a wine cooler and the doorbell rings and who do you think it was? YES. It was HIM! My heart jumped into my throat, I nearly choked on my drink but then he walked past me to go to talk to Trisha and my heart fell. Then, out of the corner of my eye (which by the way were tearing up) I see him come back towards me and would you believe could beat again. He came right up to me and blinked away my tears . . . of HAPPINESS . . . and he said, "Do you know where I can drain my lizard?" How hilarious!! I could not stop cracking up so I told him, "Yeah, totally, let me show you. This house is soooooo confusing"

So I brought him to the master bedroom to get master bathroom cuz it's the best and with eyes like that he deserves the best. But while he was the bathroom I quick as a wink locked the bedroom door - who doesn't love a little danger? I waited, anxiously, on the edge of the bed biting my nails too excited to even think about when he would come out.

20 minutes later I got a little worried so I knocked on the bathroom door - didn't want to surprise him! - but he didn't answer and that's when I got really nervous because like why wasn't answering? Was he OK? Did he hear me? Is he in pain? Is he hurt? And if so why won't he let me in? Good thing I had a bobby pin and picked the lock. The next thing I can barely repeat I was so shocked. There he was sleeping in the tub without his pants. How embarassing! GROSS! So I did the only thing I could do. I took my pants off too so he wouldn't feel dumb when he woke up and got in the tub too. Only the weird thing was he had some funny thing on his neck - I mean it looked like chocolate so I bent over to lick it off because I love chocolate and that wine cooler was really starting to work its magic. But that chocolate would NOT come off. I was like what is brown super glue? It would not budge so I started trying bite it off. No luck! That boy was in La La Land dreaming of God knows what - I mean YOU know boys. So I thought to myself, "E*, what's the only thing that works like a charm every time?" Luckily I've read every fairy tale ever written so I knew just what to do. For this PYT I had to pull out all the stops and plant a big wet one on his perfect bee-stung lips.

That's when he woke up. It was like God had granted all my silent prayers. Only he screamed . . . because he was SO HAPPY to see that that perfect he'd just had saved him from eternal sleep and a life without me. He ran out of there so fast - he's so cut - to go tell everybody the good news. The only bummer of my perfect evening is that I was asked to leave but that's just because Trisha was SO jealous. I haven't seen D* since that night of heaven we spent together in the tub. Yeah it hurts but my heart continues to beat because I know that he is out there searching for me - that missing piece in his heart despite stupid Trisha and her ugly face. True love lasts forever.


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