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Online relationships.....I would never do that again!!!

Online Love Affairs, can be something else!
I met this gentleman online at a time when a real relationship had left me emotionally at ends. Anway, we became friends, just chatting from time to time. (bytheway we were both married and living on other sides of the country) Then about a year later he made a sexual play at me. At first I was shocked, then after many discussions we had later...I felt ok with it. He romanced me in to a full internet very intense love affair, my first experience with online sex. It was truly amazing considering there was no reality yet we called it real. Anyway, our relationship lasted 5 years. During the last few yrs, he started acting strange, I could never figure it out. He thought that my questions were jealousy, or he tried to copout by going in that direction. I always wanted him to be the person in my real life that I had lost, lets say. He reminded me so much of him that I fell hook line and sinker for this fellow. I wanted him to be my real love. Anyway, one night, when he stood me up (online)as he had so many other times over the years, I told him not to contact me anymore. It was over. For me. I could not stand not trusting him and the entire relationship anymore. I felt very foolish. When I had cooled down several months later, I tried to look him up...and found he was not traceable. A lesson. Learned.

Now it has been 2 yrs later and I think about him and that relationship sometimes. I did fall inlove with a computer character/personality. How odd is that? I guess I needed it at the time. I feel fortunate that the relationship helped me to see and experience/explore some parts of myself that were hidden inside of me. Otherwise, I would have to say it was something that emotionally affected me in a way that you don't know how to deal with properly. With real people you can fight it out face to face. Or at least try to figure it out face to face.

Online relationships.....I would never do that again!!!

I am cured! Yet still yearn for that most amazing romance/love that I felt in that relationship. Hope I find it in reality. :)


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