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My feelings for him seemed pretty mutual

Well, I really liked this guy. We were turning out to be great friends at first, but then it all fell apart. Let me start from the beginning: He use to go out with my best friend in 8th grade but I sort of got them to end it because my best friend was into this high schooler. (who apparently left to the states after that school year was over) Things werent so great after they broke up, we didnt talk much to each other. I was sort of interested in him that time but I felt like I didnt have a chance for various reasons... When we got to 9th grade my best friend and me wanted to become friends again with the guy and so we did. Things were good. He was always hanging around a bunch of girls but he didnt seem to mind. I tend to chat with him alot then about funny, stupid stuff. It was fun. My feelings for him seemed pretty mutual, but thats because I didnt want something to happen between us and I also thought that he would never like me... But I remember how I always felt when he was around: My stomache would feel so weird and funny, I wasnt really able to look him in the eyes and if I ever did it was only for a second, I would get all happy when hes around because we'd always end up messing around poking each other and giving each other bruises. Hahaha... Okay, I guess my feelings werent so mutual but I didnt want anything to happen between us because I didnt want his 'best friend' to get mad and hate me. She hated my best friend when she went out with him. She says she doesnt like him but everyone can just tell that she does. As time went by, it seems when I finally found out that the guy liked me I was the last to know. Everyone, but me, had a feeling he liked me. When he told me on text after this semi-formal thing I never really replied because I went to this party with a couple of people. I was shocked at first I thought no way it cant be, but then I checked the text again and knew that he really did say it. I was happy then but also sort of upset. I didnt want what we already had to change, I knew it would some how ruin things, so I told him that I didnt like him and that it would never work out... The next day at school he ignored me and that hurt so much... I became all depressed and my friends didnt even want to talk to me. At the end of school he came up to me and asked me why I was so upset I didnt answer but we both knew... We practally got back to the way we were before at the end of the day but then I screwed things up the next day. He said he had a plan but I never got to hear it because after I told his best friend that we both liked each other he got pissed at me because she didnt talk to him anymore. I told her because I didnt want to hide anything, I'd feel guilty. She still liked him I knew it after she made the lame exuse that I freakin lied to her that I didnt like him. Well the truth was I was confused whether it was right to like him or not all because of her. I got them back together but after that the guy never gave me a second chance. He isnt even my friend anymore. I dont even know him as he passes me in school. I feel a stab of pain though when ever I think of him... If I had of shut my mouth I wonder what could have happened.... Something wonderful? I will never know... I cant help but say this but I hate his best friend and I know I might just go to hell for hating someone but I do. I hate her soo much for being so selfish... She acts as if she owns him. Whom so ever goes out with the guy she'll end up hating...I dont know about other people but I dont like it when someone hates me...*sigh*

The guy is leaving this summer and so is his best friend. Im glad shes leaving but I hate the fact that he is... I just wish some how before he leaves that we'd depart from each other in good terms. I wish I could just be able to speak to him again...


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