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i believe in prince charming and fairies

from the age of 18 i was with a man for 20 years. he gave me 4 beautiful children. i thought this was my life, but i hated it. i was humiliated. i was mentally tortured. i believed everything this man said to me. he done what he wanted when he wanted to do it. everyone thought he was brilliant, i didnt stand a chance. i thought i'd made my bed so i would have to lie in it at least until my children had left home then i could do what i wanted to do without hurting them. he was put in prison nearly 3 years ago and i had a whale of a time. life was good. there was no 'threat' either real or felt over me an the children. this was the first time since i was 17 that i could do what i wanted when i wanted and not actually have to report to anyone. he came out of prison 9 months later. i let him back to the family house for the sake of the children but i now know this was the wrong thing to have done. i had met someone. someone who was a great friend by now. he was married, but i saw that it wasnt my look out. he had the loyalty to his wife............not me. i walked out on my partner of 20 years 2 months after he came out of prison. i did try for the sake of the children again, but i knew going back to the person i was was no good for anyone. i left my children with him. he is their father afterall. but i am now the happiest person on the face of the earth. i have a man(yes he left his wife, but just because you are married to someone doesn't meen its right and it also doesnt mean that i made him leave her because i never.... he had problems in his own house for years) i have a man who absolutely idolisies me, would do absolutely anything for me and vica versa. but the best thing we have got is respect and truth. i never want to go back to the person i was when i was with my childrens father. NEVER. i allowed myself to be walked over and abused because i thought i deserved nothing more. i believe in prince charming and fairies. i have found mine for sure. and i found him because i wasnt looking. he was just waiting there when i needed him.


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