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its still hard to accept what happened

my story is very hard to tell, but i'll try.
I was fourteen when i met "Christian" on the train home from school.he was with his friends, i was wtih mine, but we all clicked straight away and started to hang out together.
After a month or so we got together, and even though i was only fourteen, i knew it was love. you know it as soon as you feel it.
i loved so much about christian, so much that i can't even begin to describe all the little things that made him sounds soppy, but we knew we were supposed to be together. we had our little ups and downs and even broke up for a while around christmas over a misunderstanding,but we managed to sort it all out on new years eve.
we stayed together for months and months, even going through the dreaded junior cert(national exams) together..and then came the summer, when we made the big decision to sleep together.after that our love seemed to expand. we could even tell each other's thoughts sometimes.
christian had lived in a lot of places when he was younger, though he was originally irish,and one day he came to me with the heart-wrenching news that his family were moving back to north america...forever. i can't think of that day still without crying, we both wept, i couldn't take it in. we both had discussed long-distance relationships together before, and we knew that we could'nt do that, especially as we would only see each other every two years or so. it would be too difficult. so we made the awful decision to break up once he moved away. those last four weeks we had together once he had told me the news were the saddest, most precious weeks i have ever spent in my life. we shared every moment together.
the day he left was very hard. i hate to dwell on it, i couldn't take in that it was the last time we would see each other, but i never knew just how true that was.
even though wew were supposed to have broken up, we still wrote each other letters and told each other how much we loved each other. it was just too hard not to. an we stayed in contactt over the internet as well.
then, one night in september i had this really weird dream about christian telling me how much he missed and loved me, and i woke up crying. later that day christians best friend called me over to his house and told me he had something to tell me.
it had turned out that christian had died, in a car crash the night before, aged only sixteen.
its been around a year now, and ive been able to talk about it. i miss him so much that it physically hurts me. i'm just thankful for the time we managed to share together when we had the chance.
i hope you appreciated my story. it was hard to write this, its still hard to accept what happened, but i know i'm just taking one day at a time and getting over it. thankyou. x x x


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