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The Older Man
His image brings tears to my eyes; especially now. It's a fate more pathetic than the tragedy of Ceres and Peresephone, for I only get to be with him for four months and he leaves to go to Canada to work for eight months. The first time he left for Canada, I tried to forget him because it just hurt too much, and when he came back in December 2003, I broke up with him because I did not want to go on in a relationship like that; where he would leave every year.
It was almost humourous and cute how we met, he had just moved to my neighbourhood and he would walk his dog on evenings. I had just bought myself a pair of rollerblades for Christmas 2002, and I was blundering along on the road. I would be lying if I said that I never noticed him, because I made sure to rollerblade when I saw him walking his doggy. But I really did suck at blading, until one day, he turned to me and yelled across the road "Bend your knees, you're too rigid." And from there we started talking and hanging out.
I'm grinning now! Our relationship, like many others, blossomed and we were in love with each other. But because he was my first, I felt many questions welling up in me, was he the one, were there others better than him? But I realised that casual dating is ultimately searching for the one you want to share the rest of your life with; I already found this gem at the first try.
However, this is the real world and there are always flaws in the make-up of society. I'm waiting until I'm finished my Master's degree before I break the news to my parents that I even have a boyfriend, that we're getting married very soon after I tell them, that he's the guy in the neighbourhood, and that he's way older than me. It's probably hereditary, because my mom's eleven years younger than my dad, and her mom was twenty years younger than her dad. Ok, he's not SO old, but he's older than what society would deem acceptable. Which is also why I broke up with him when he came back this year; I was scared of being judged by society.
But I have come to realise this year, that life is yours for the taking, I have found a man who I love unconditionally, and he has proven his love to me so many times. It's my life and my decision for the rest of my life. Yes! I can see myself with him, having our children and growing old together. Yes, I love him. This year I came to realise that I love him so much that I will wait for him to come back this year again in December. I miss him terribly and I think it unfair that he's gone for so long. But I know that he will come back for me and that he has my heart, and all of it.
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