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I'm hopeless

These feelings for a girl named N.S began when I was 10, thats 5 years ago now and I had just moved from a mining town down in Western Australia to the Northern Terroritory of Australia.

I met her and her twin, and at that point i was as red as apples at this point, and after a week some new kids moved in the street, 3 boys, N.S then began loving one, after that i was the joke of the street because those 3 boys didn't like me much.

Years passed, i went out with someone else who i really loved, by the time 2001 had come by, my love interest had left the state as did the 3 boys, and the feelings began again, my other neighbour had secretly loved N.S's twin sister, so we began spending more time with the twins, then 2003 had came and we made our move, the result failure, B gave up, I continued trying for a few more months, then realised that it was hopeless.

so at the end of 2003 i tried again, she rejected me, i wrote letters, did all i could, I really loved her, i hoped, prayed and wished, it got to the point she realised that i'd do anything for her, so she'd publicly humilate me, hit me, tease me, and all other forms of abuse, i kept going.

Then one day she told me that i never get her cos i'm too ugly, horrorible and she doesn't deserve me. so then i contemplated suicide, fortunetly my best Friend A stopped me, i'm glad he did. N.S and I had a period of silence, we have since reconciled and are still friends, but i'm still unhappy and very insecure. in my opinion love is one of the painful things we go thru, i hope i end up happy, and i hope you do to


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