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I will spend the rest of my sad days In memory of a girl I loved that couldnt be mine...
It was Fall of last year, during my sophmore year at highschool that I met A*. She happend to be in my Biology class and I actually got a chance to work with her and some others on a Bio Project. Thats when I started to develop these strange feelings, I brushed them aside at first thinking that I probably just had a crush on her. Well... I guess I was wrong, the school year ended and my feelings fro her grew, all throughout summer I thought about her. Then as usual summer break passed and school started, and I was REALLY looking foreward to seeing her again. She is sooo beautiful and I love everything about her: aburn-red hair, sparkling blue eyes, her beauiful smile and nothing lights up my day more than the sweet melody of her voice...but most of all I love her the person she is, apart form her unparalled physical beauty. Unfortunatley things did not work out as well as I had hoped; to start with, she was not in ANY of my classes so I hardly got to see her. Our Highschool has this program for advanced studies at another institution called CASA(center for advanced sciences and arts) and we both happen to go there, and sadly I dont have any classes with her either(some luck I have been having). Anyway, the whole second semster this year I would try to leave my first class as soon as it was over just to go and catch a glimpse of her, to the point where I didnt even bother hanging out with my friends in the hallways(since there were 5 minute intervals between classes).I had made up my mind to go up to her and talk to her, when tragedy struck...It was late march 2005 of this year (a few weeks ago) I had just enterd my Military History class, where she takes AP Government. right as I entered I over heard her talking to some other girl, who asked something along the lines of "So, when are you going to show me your boyfried???"... At first I thought I heard wrong, but then A* turned around and said something like "He is not here right now, he is gone@#$#%#@$%&$^(& I couldnt make out the last part as I began to blank out, I felt a Sharp pain in my chest, it felt as if someone had thrusted a bayonet right though my heart and I felt sick inside, I jsut couldnt come to believe that the girl I soo dearly loved...loved someone else? how? why? when did this happen? who was this guy? I had never seen her with anyone before...I mean sure she had some male friends, but they were jsut friends, so who was this guy? did he go to my school or was he from another?(since there are studends from 5 other schools that attend CASA along with my school)
these questions bombarded my head throught class, we were watching a War documentry on WWI...something about "the somme", I couldnt really pay attention, all I could think about was A*...
But then again I dont blame her, I will be honest with you guys, I not the most attractive guy out there. For one;I have really dark skin(My family is form Southern Greece, and I am quite dark for a Greek, to the point where I often get mistaken for a mexican) and I am not that tall either, just a regular skinny, short soutern greek.
Now that I have overcome the sudden shock about her having a boyfriend, It is starting to make sense now... Realistically speaking WHY on earth would she go for or even remotley have any feelings for a guy like me, Considering that the school is full of Tall,Blonde,Blue eyed guys...I was a fool to even think that a beautiful girl like her could ever love me... after all I am just a scrawny looking immigrant... Love really does hurt now I know
I love her so much, I just cant stop thinking about her...I really care for her, true I have always been other girls that I have "liked" but I have never TRULLY cared for someone like I do for her. I give anything...anything just to be with her.
I dont have much of a plan, as soon as I am done with Highschool, I will move back to Greece, and join the Army, my hope is to make it in to the Greek Special Forces "E.K.A.M" team
Her boyfriend has got to be the luckiest man alive, I know she has a bright future ahead of her, and I just pray that she can live a long and happy life, Whom ever she gets married to, well A*, all I can say is that I hope he loves you and takes good care of you the way I would, I just hope that he loves you more than me, but wait I dont think you will find another man that could possibly love you more than I do...I love you with all my heart A*...I wish I could marry you, have kids with you, but alas, like the old saying goes "If wished were horses, Beggers would ride"
I will never marry anyone, if its not a* then I want no one. I have made up my mind to move back to my parents homeland - Attica,Greece Where I will spend the rest of my sad days In memory of a girl I loved that couldnt be mine...
"All that is not given is lost"
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