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the sad reality of not being with the one perfect man i honestly love

Last year i was told buy a very genuine psychic that my first true love would be with someone i already know who as been admiring me for some time but is too shy to show it. he is someone i didn't notice at the time, she said and so for months i was thinking about all my male friends who are shy and reserved, wondering who it could be. The trouble was i wasn't actually attracted to any of them, so i patiently waited for fate to run its course.
Of course ,me being pathetically blinded to my own emotions, became 'friends' with an older fellow who fit the description perfectly, though because i met him after the reading i convinced myself that he couldn't be the one, and continued searching. All the signs were there. i started seeing another boy, just for fun and my 'friend' started ignoring me, blaming other things. i had this funny feeling the whole time that i was attracted to him more than my boyfriend and eventually broke it off with my boy to the realisation that i was madly in love with my 'friend'. THe damage however was done. My friend and i have never been the same again, and i kick myself for missing my chance at being with my first true love. I still think about him everyday, though have been too shy to say anything. Its too late now anyway, he has moved on and become 'best friends' with another girl and together they do all the things we used to do. We still see each other a bit, though only because he is helping me with my studies. Everytime he talks about her i break a little more, because although he hasn't confirmed anything about their relationship, my gut is telling me that he's fallen for someone else. I know he loved me, and i know i hurt him. Now i have to live with that and the sad reality of not being with the one perfect man i honestly love.


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