First we were afraid of going out, but then we did. My girlfriend accused me of cheating and I say I didn't, my nose suddenly grew and poked her in the eye. She screamed and called the police, he dragged me away. In the prison cell, I met the man she had been cheating with and used his now dead body as a ladder. After I had escaped, I found two of my girlfriends plotting to steal my money. It turns out that I had fathered twelve of their children, the other seven were from being pimped out. Once they had seen me, they pulled out their Samurai swords and attaacked me. After this ordeal, I met the grilfriend who got me in the slammer. I took out my pimp cane from my long Mink coat and chased her into the arms of her other lover, Clive, who beat me up with HIS pimp cane. He crushed my favourite Zebra skin hat, the Ostrich feather fell out and poked him in the eye. But, he was allergic to Ostrich and mutated into a giant Ostrich man hybrid. I ran but he chased me and pecked out all my hair.

Know I have to wear a wig that is made from the hair that my cat coughed up onto my green Loafers. My girlfriends are sueing me for all my bling and my illegitimate children have made a rap about me. They all look exactly like me, even the girls. I wish this had never happened, then I could have become the transvestite hooker I always wanted to be. If only my Dad hadn't made me carry on the family buisness,GALS 4 U, a pimping company.

I now own the company after a gang of criminals bust cap in his ass. I have also married my half-sister, Becky, we plan to lead a wonderful life in my converted Hummer, with the triplets; Denzel, Denzelina and Denzelette.