Understanding your opponent

When you are arguing, take the time to really listen to what your partner is saying and where he or she is coming from. Donīt say "I *know* you feel XXXXX". Instead, ask how he or she feels. When your partner is done, then respond back with your summary - "OK, so I hear and understand that you feel XXXXXX. This is how I feel ..." Your partner will see that you are indeed understanding his/her point, and make more of an effort to understand yours.