I Cheated and now I must build from scratch

I cheated a few weeks ago and I feel like killing myself. I didn,t cheat because I was planning to it just happened. But now i see it may have been because of so many reasons. I had been with my boyfriend for four years and during those four years there were alot of problems, then this elementary school friend from a long ago contacted me and to make a story short I cheated, I didn,t go all the way with him, but I cheated.
Take this from me, take the higher road, not this road, do not do what so many other people do out in the world. Look at yourself and look inward at the relationship, if there is pain don,t add more pain to the relationship, have courage to confront your partner and leave or make the relationship better. I made this horrible choice, it was a mistake and I regret it. I wish that I didn,t choose the cowardly road. Now I must build from scratch because I am confused and alone. I do love my boyfriend and it wasn,t that I didn,t love him. It was because I needed to work out my own problems. I see now that I was insecure and I lost myself in the process. And the relationship wasn,t too good. I have hurt him and I hurt myself. What hurts the most is that I told myself and him four years ago I would not cheat. Where is that girl that I lost four years ago. I am sorry for myself and especially him. This is my regret, mistake and I wish I did not choose this choice. There is a better choice. Be true to yourself, have self respect and love yourself enough not to do it. Rise above it.