I cheated

First - my story...I cheated on my husband with his best friend. It's not something that happened right away. In fact, I never saw it coming. We had always joked around and flirted - but he did that with everyone, so I felt it to be harmless. He'd call the house or my cell phone looking for my husband and we'd end up talking for several minutes. Then the text messages started - friendly and silly at first, then they turned into compliments with a sexual flair. Before I knew it, I was confiding in him and he in me. I began to learn things that my husband was doing behind my back - some I later found out to not be true, but I believed everything I was told. The whole time I thought I was in control. When my husband's friend first made a move on me, I backed away - but deep down, I just wanted to know what it felt like to touch him. He seemed to be everything my husband wasn't, yet he was familiar and much like my husband. Needless to say, the relationship went south after that.

Things only lasted a couple of months. I tried to call it off three times but I just couldn't break away for good. Finally his wife got too suspicious and followed him one night. Ironically, I didn't even know he was coming to meet me, he just showed up. But that was the best thing that could have happened. I needed to get away from him. I had been blinded by this fantasy world. I was so stupid for believing his lies and stupid for allowing myself to get involved. I broke my husband's heart, but he stayed with me. It's been ten months since the last night I saw this other man. My husband lost his friend, but was this guy ever really his friend?

When I asked my husband for forgiveness I also asked the Lord for forgiveness. It was like my eyes were opened and I could see clearly for the first time. I'm not saying it's been an easy journey, but by the grace of God our marriage was saved.

My tip - cheating is a pit of irrational thoughts. You start off digging a little hole – “oh it's just flirting and fun, nothing serious”. Next thing you know, you’re down two feet deep – “oh, but he/she is just a good friend, I can tell them things that my spouse doesn’t’ understand”. Six feet later – “I deserve to have fun, it feels like a movie, I like the excitement, I need it, this is my time”. Next thing you know - you've dug yourself into a large pit. You look up and you can barely see the light. You realize you've neglected your family, friends, job, children - everything. No matter which way you turn, you are in the dark. How can you get out? How can you reach the top and free yourself of all the mud and gunk you have been standing in? Only the truth can set you free. It hurts, it's painful. It was the worst day of my life. But if I had lingered in that pit everything would have eventually fallen apart. My kids might have found out - how would they feel? Even if I had stopped the relationship, but never told my husband - guilt and shame would have eaten me alive. You can't climb out of the pit on your own, otherwise you'll carry all that dirt out with you. You need a supernatural hand to reach down and help you out. God has amazing grace.

Be strong, be careful. Don't let a few "feel good" emotions take control of your life. Be honest and communicate. Find God, he can mend all broker hearts. Friends are important, but your best friend should be your spouse.