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Jealousy and Envy

Building Self Esteem :
This is the one!!!!

Before my current boyfriend I had been in love twice. My first love, I hurt him very badly, and I regret it to this day but I learned from that mistake. Now, with my ex boyfriend, he was quite unattractive, but confident and hilarious, thats what i loved about him. and i also loved the fact that i thought he would never hurt me because girls wouldnt be malicious and sleezy with him. well, i looked past the fact that he was an amazing guitarist, and in a popular band in san diego. he hurt me over and over, but i kept going back to him for 3 years. now, with my current boyfriend, i knew exactly what i wanted, and what i wouldnt do, because i had the experiance to make a healthy relationship.
he is the first guy i never had to settle for.. gorgeous, funny, amazing in bed....jesus, honest, and he is really close with his family and sisters which shows good female relationships. well after about 4 months with him we got in a huuuge fight and he then "reconnected" with his ex.. a manipulative, terrble and malicious excuse for a woman. it took me a while to find out, but when i did, it was on. i didnt talk to him for two weeks, stayed close with a couple friends of his. i found out that he never got back together with her, he was apparently confused because his ex had told him that he saw me with my ex.. which was true but we were just close friends. so he remained single, and after a couple weeks of not talking.. we would sleep together.. i didnt want to be with anyone else.. or start something new so it seemed like the good idea at the time(it was but thats later on the story) so every time we would sleep together.. it was AMAZING. and i played it off after by not cuddling with him after or kissing him. when we didnt plan to get together, we would see eachother at a mutual friends party, and he would come back to my place, and you know the rest. some of you might think this is slutty, but its the opposite. i was feeling to bad and i was so heartbroken, most women would have slept with any random guy, or get back together with an ex. the reason why we didnt get back together right away is because we are both very stubborn, and when he broke up with me i told him if he goes through with it id never get back together with him, even though we both still loved eachother. my roomate went to hawaii for 3 days, and thats where the point of the story comes along. for those 3 nights she was away, he would come over and we would actually spend quality time together, and have amazing passionate sex. i was pretending to be independant(haha) as in not needing him anymore but oh... i did. i told him the last night my roomate was gone he could only come over if he took me to work in the morning, and i will never forget that day. i worked at pac sun so i got to dress however i wanted, i woke up at 6 in the morning and got ready, by the time i was done, he was still sleeping and i looked pretty darn good. i woke him up, made some coffee, for me.. and he dropped me off. and that is the day he started telling me he needed me back and he couldnt stand it anymore. it has now been 2 years. no more games, honesty, and true love.
its nice!!!

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