Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -|
A Lonely December PART THREE
We saw each other every day in school, and in almost every class! I was afraid he would one day feel like bored of seeing me always! So there was one thing I was sure I needed to do: give him space and not be behind him. He would be sweeter than ever, still a clown, still always being with me, but now kissing me in the cheek, in the neck, in my forehead... Holding hands even during class! Everything going great, he had brought me this clay toucan that his parents had brought me from a trip. I would bake him brownies!!! :D Then came a day when I basically LIED to my uncle, when I was staying over at his house, saying to him that my mom gave me permission to go to the theater and to Jim's football game when it was not true. I got grounded so I couldn't go out as much as before and also couldn't be in the Internet. But obviously Jim and I could see each other in school! He and I would give small kisses, and everyone exaggerated it, sayin that we "ate ourselves" lol And no one would get over the fact that I didn't liked his bigger brother. Jim has light brown hair and brown eyes. His brother has blue eyes and blonde hair (aaand looks like a model), that's why. Oh and Charlie... I didn't talked to him as much. When I did, I would talk to him A LOT. I really loved being with boys so I would hang with them at many times. Then rumors started! Saying that I was cheating on Jim with Charlie! I told Jim about it, and ASSURED him that it wasn't true. He believed me, and said,"I know it's not true and that he likes you... but you're mine :D." I was completely thrown out by it. This confusion I was in at the beginning of the month (about still liking Charlie) was disappearing. I was more, more and more attracted to Jim. This get-together at Megan's party came, and I really couldn't attend it. Everyone had a couple there, except Jim. He felt sad about it. So everyone thought I kind of stood up on him. This started bad stuff happening. Like Jim thinking that I wasn't into him because I was NEVER behind him. That was my fault, the space I was giving him was getting exaggerate. I didn't want to be looking for him or following him because I didn't wanted to annoy him! That's it. He started thinking that I didn't loved him. Everyone did, my best friends complained about it to me. I lost contact with Jim for 4 days during Thanksgiving vacation. One day before them I had went with friends and Jim to the cinema. Most of the time I was being an jerk and I wouldn't be with Jim as much as I was with my friends. I was just not trying to bother him! When he was leaving, and kissed me goodbye, little did I know it was going to be the last kiss with him. Those days were horrible, but that's when I came to a conclusion: I was madly in love with Jim. I loved Charlie as a friend now. I was going to correct everything now, and be behind Jim now. Missing him was what made me take conscience. I called him during one of those days, but his phone was off. When finally school arrived, now with my mind COMPLETELY made up about being more time with him and reduce that space, he started ignoring me. He would sit far away from me. He wouldn't come and talk to me. He was distant when now I would go and talk to him. He wouldn't say anything, I was like,"Do you have anything to say to me?" "Hello." This couldn't go anywhere, the serious talks. That day, I arrived home DESTROYED. Oh and the funny part is that he was sick. I was sick the last time I went with him of the flu and kissed him obviously. I infected it to him! I thought he just felt bad cause of the flu, or that he was trying to get me into paying him more attention. Next day he didn't went to school, and when he went, I thought he was going to feel better and start being with me as usual, but he wouldn't. When I hugged him, he didn't hugged me back, he just remained there. That was like a punch to my heart. Later that day I planned with a friend to go on Messenger and talk with him. I greeted him and he greeted me. I said that we needed to talk seriously, he said "I know." I just remained there waiting for him to write. He said "Over these days I've tried to tell you in person but I can't... I'm sorry but it's over." He broke up with me. My heart was destroyed. I was speechless and started feeling some kind of emptiness inside me. He said he loved me as a friend. Only that. I said to him to have some balls and to tell me the next day in my face. I cried the whole night. I could've missed the next day to class, but I went.
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