Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
Small leaky lifeboat

Four years ago I met this woman who showed me another side of myself. She was like a muse. She was instrumental in bringing me out of a funk that I was in at the time. She brought joy and laughter to my life everytime I heard her voice. I dated her for a month or two and found out she is really wild which is something I respect. We split ways and I never really stopped thinking about her. I heard around town she was in a short relationship and then in a two year relationship that had just ended. I never forgot her nor did she forget me. I figured this must be love I was feeling. I am sure that it is. I found her through myspace and we came back together. We drank and had casual sex. Dating with little if any exclusivity. She told me she loves me and she knows we are supposed to be together.

I feel as if I am torturing myself by prolonging this nonsense. I want to marry this woman and she is just too wild. I can't let her go when I know that she will be the one to make me happy.
I may not have to worry about it anymore because she is moving away. So now she is back in my life calling everyday right before she leaves town.
I am losing it. I am losing her. This sucks and I can't hold her down when she isn't formally my girlfriend. I want her back for good but I believe she is now leaving my life to live on the other side of the country. IT is over and I am dying inside. I have been in a lot of relationships but none so emotionally powerful.

I just want you to know you don't have to be in a long relationship to fall head over heels into a dark depression over a woman. I am fighting to keep her but I know her and she is not one to be tamed down. Time will heal and maybe one day when I have completely forgotten her she will come back to settle down.

Or maybe it isn't meant to be and I am a complete idiot. I am hopelessly in love with a lost cause. Either way this all feels like someone has thrown me in the middle of the ocean on a small leaky lifeboat with no land in site.

Why did God make this side of love so hard? I geuss so we can protect love when we have it. Good luck to all you broken hearted fools like me.


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