Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
I know that she's not coming back

i screwed up.....and so did she. what can i say? we dated off and on for almost five years. after my brother died....i needed space, (nearly ten years later i still haven't dealt with that). we were back together about a year later, she wanted to get married.......we were 16. who the hell wants to get married at 16? for four years i was scared away by how much she loved me. scared of love...what a sad state to be in. i worked out of state for the summer right after high school....we were apart, but still together. she cheated.......and never admitted it...ever. i know it happened, everyone knew it happened....and more than once. i was crushed, but she swore to me it wasn't true...i was the only one for her. we moved out of state together with a friend of mine. we found a beautiful house in the country side and i spent a year playing disciplinarian. when they weren't using me to piss each other off, she was out partying like i had never seen. we moved back home and broke up a little while after. she told me she had to leave me....she needed to get away from our hometown and start over. she found a great job and i wished her well. the month before she was set to leave we became friends....real friends, we talked, really talked. and i thought "oh my god, i want to marry this girl...i can't lose her" i proposed on my 21st birthday....she shot me down. bummer, but i can deal with it. the next day i lost it at work and was sent home. i was lying on the couch when the phone rang. "come over, we need to talk." She told me she made a mistake, she wanted nothing more than to be my wife. she left me a week later, was with a new guy three months later. it broke my heart....i keeled over on the job the day i learned of her new romance, dr. said that all they could think was i was so depressed that my mind told my body it was time to die.............i moved away a week later. i didn't go back home for almost three years, not even to visit my mom. I went home for thanksgiving this year and she was the first person i saw when i walked into the bar. at the extended hand in front of me i just laughed and threw my arms around her and gave her a big hug. we talked a little until her new boyfriend (same dude, now the father of her son) stomped out of the bar.

i still love her, i still want her as my wife. and i hurt every single day because I was too foolish to marry her sooner. to see what was before me since i was fifteen. both relationships i have had since then i have basically ruined without realizing it. i know that i can't be happy without her, but i also know that she's not coming back.






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