Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
I Know that I must face my fear and tell him how I feel

My experience is really no different than anyone elses, it's about heartbreak.....I came out of a marriage gave up 16 years of my life thats what it felt like. I moved back home to get away from all of it as he left me for another women. I need not say anymore. In the process of beginning to heal I still had no intentions to love again nor look at another man. It began slowly I didn't notice him at first the feelings grew and grew...As we talked at the local rec centre. I began to realize that my heart was not completely destroyed but temporarly wounded as I began to feel love again and a wanting to know him more and more...
I felt alive truly alive, We went on a first date after a couple if months of admiring from a distant and flirting.
We dated for 5 months and I know that I felt love for him. He knew everything that I had been through the hurt ect....Well I need not spell it out he pulled back after a very intense short lived relationship.... I know that out side forces played a part such as my situation and living back at home. So yes my Mother played a role in making it well known that SHE thought he was no good for me...When the fact of matter is know one would be suitable for me....
I was truthful with the situation and told him and guess what being truthful made him back off...I thought that the truth was the way to go but how wrong that decision was..
Anyhow maybe I sabatoged not even knowing it , as he hoped I wouldn't sabatoge as people who have been hurt tend to do so..... All I know is that I'm not with him anymore. I went to his house I remember this clear as day he was happy to see me I returned a few items of his along with a key....I wish I could take back that day.... I was hoping for a response I didn't get and that was what I based my decision on. I told him I wouldn't be needing the key anymore.....

Yeah self sabatoging thats what I did,,,,And we never spoke another word of what went wrong or that we need each other ect.... We see each other passing by in rush of the day but it's a very distant friendly hi that is it no explanation just in protective mode....

It hurts because I wake up think of him go to sleep think of him but I'm scared to face my fears and get closure or another beginning... Fear of getting hurt again...I see him my knees go weak my heart pounds...Then I cry my eyes out when he is not around because I miss him and don't want him to know that I love him...I feel a bond with him in my heart but at the same time feel is's almost obsessive because I don't know if he feels the same because he hides his feelings well just as I do in public.....

I Know that I must face my fear and tell him how I feel
But than I think to myself if he really wanted me he would have made it known by now I'm so confused but yes i love him.....


3.00 out of 5 slimes

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