He Lied and then Tried to Hide the Truth

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Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
In April of this year I found a cell phone number of a woman who works with my live-in boyfriend of 9 years. When I confronted him about her he said she was just a friend. I told him that I don't mind him having female friends and he could talk to her as much as he wants at work or if he happened to see her in the streets but I didn't like the idea of him calling her especially when I am not around.

He told me then that he wouldn't call her anymore but he recently got a cell phone and he did not know that every number he calls would show up on his bill. He just got his first bill December 26 and whose number do I see on it hers. He called her right after I had left for work one morning. I am furious because he lied to me about not calling her anymore and he tried to hide it by making the call on his cell thinking I would never find out.

I don't trust him and think everything he says is a lie. I don't know what to do. I am so miserable. Am I wrong for not wanting my boyfriend to call another woman? I don't trust that men and women can only be friends. I think it always leads to something else.

User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female

From what you are saying I think that you already know the awnser in your heart. Why does he call her when your not around? He already knows that it upsets you. If she is a friend then maybe you should ask him to be more open about who she is and what kind of friendship they share. Wow, you have been together 9 years!! I think that you should know all of his friends by now. If he is making new friends I would think that he would tell you about them! About your last statement, I like that. I feel myself from experiences with all of my male friends that they always tend to want more from me. I have never ended up having a relationship with an intended male friend, but all relationships tend to start with being friends. Putting that part aside I would decide what I really wanted. You have been together a long time and that should count for something. Maybe, you need to dig deeper in your relationship and see if there is anything else that is suspicous. I always try to remind myself that there are many fish in the sea and from my past experiences you should definately confront this issue the sooner the better.

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