Jealousy And A Future Spouse?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hello, My name is C*( 20 years old) and engaged. My fiancÚ and i have been having some very severe issues and i am not sure what i should do about this. He has always been the type to have jealousy issues but because it was never an extreme case, i figured it was something we could always work out. But lately it has felt like my patience is wearing thinner and thinner, and the situations seem to have become harder and harder to deal with. We have been together for almost 3 years and it feels like even though he has all the freedom in the world to do whatever he wants (guys night out and such) it always feels like he wants to have me on a shorter leash. Whenever i go out with my friends (boys and girls) He is always suspecting me of doing things(cheating), and when i try to talk to him about it, his favorite response is " its not that i dont trust you, is that i dont trust them". I have come to hate this response because it feels like he is just running way from his real feelings and putting it on this ridiculous excuse. He never admits to his jealousy and insecurity and instead calls me paranoid for always think that he is. Thus, making it harder for me to confront him about this or even come to a solution. He doesn't like that i have guy friends, and always ends up yelling at me for hanging out or talking to them. The only reason this bothers me so much is because i have total trust in him and have never suspected of him, or anything of the like. We are planning to get married soon, but im not so sure any more, what should i do?
User Submitted Advice from a 41-50 year old Male
Do NOT GET MARRIED YET
Id like to add to Georges good advice. Do NOT GET MARRIED YET. This is a major issue. I think if you two really love each other you will both sacrifice and compromise so that you both can be happy, comfortable and trust each other. Maybe if he met your guy friends he would feel better? Are any of your guy friends ex lovers? If so that is really not a good thing to hold onto.
This should be reachable if you both really do love each other. Look up definition of true love in the bible, if you are not sure what love really is about.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer