Is he cheating or am I just jealous

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Original Visitor's Question from a unknown year old Person
Hello there, I have a terrible problem, my partner of almost 4 years is sms with a girl since september this year, i am so jealous about this we been fighting over and over, i think is something more than that, but now we are at the point that he dont know what to do, what to say, what to think, he dont know nothing anymore, im still so jealous, i can get it out of my head, i folow him around i even call the girl and left a message, i dont know what to do and how to get him back to me, i can eat, sleep and all i know is to check things out and think think think, i need help, im so scare to loose him and i think i already did, he said she was someone that he talk to but he does from 9 in the morning to 2 in the morning, he said she was married and he dont want another relationship, he wants to be left alone, i can begine to tell you the pain im under sometimes i feel my chest is closing in when i think about it, i dont know how to handle the situation, i dont know what to do, he is always home late, sometimes he needs to visit clients and here i am sitting thinking he is with her, he is also home on the weekends but from time to time at the same times usually he does the desaparieng act, and i start feeling this thing in my chest that he is smsing this other women, please send me some advice im so heat broken, lost in a lot of pain, i love this men to pieces but i think the more i said the more i push him away, and the more i talk about the subject the more he is doing, i really need help!!!! can you help me?

User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
Watch for lies

I DoNT KNOW IF I AM THE WRIghT PERSON TO GIVE ADVISE ON THIS MATTER BUT I CAN UNDERSTAND HOW THIS LADY FEELS,aS I TOO HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH SOMTHING VERY SIMILAR TO THIS>I HAVE CAUGHT MY BOYFRIEND OF FOUR YEARS NUMEROUSLY FLIRTING BY SMS OR HER CALLING HIM once a year.I SEE IT ALl ON HIS MOBILE WHEN HE GOES TO HAVE A SHOWER>WHEN CONFRONTED HIS ALWAYS GOT SOME EXCUSE>BUT ALWAYS BLAMES THE FEMALE THAT SHE DOESNT UNDERSTAND WHEN HE SAYS "STOP CALLING">WE HAVE A FIVE MONTH OLD BABY GIRL NOW SO WHEN I CAUGHT HIM OUT a week ago i bluntly brought the subject up & didnt want to hear anymore excuses ,mainly because i was furious that he let the family down once again.I told him it was over,i packed his things & drove him to his parents house.Thank God i decided to drive him because it took 30 mins to help me calm down.Was the second time i'v seen him with tears in his eyes .He pleaded for me to listen to what had happened & why he never told me.i knew he had to be truthful with me now.He could see it in my face that i didnt care anymore.What he doesnt know is that i chose to believe him only because i love him & want so much to trust & biuld from here on.but way deep down i knew he was so sorry for what he did & was so scared he almost lost his family over some female that didnt care.Was just not worth it.What kills me though is by choosing to forgive him it will always have me wondering if i can ever fully trust him.If i look in him mobile out of the blue will i catch him lieing once again.Seriously flirt smsing is ruining many relationships as is internet porn. funny enough woman love to flirt with a man that has a partner for the pure thrill of getting his attention & seeing how far he will go for them behind there partners back.Some even are devastated that in the end he chose his partner over her.When he tries to appolagise to you look closely at his eyes & the way he talks to you because if you know each other well you will know if he is lieing.If you have faith in your relationship & realy believe he is sorry & understand why he did it try to work it out.But if his lieing dont blame yourself for his actions & tell him to leave because you dont need to be dragged down to his level & be heart broken over his recless actions.
I will practice what i preach!All the best,

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