She's Very Needy and Clingy
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
me and my girlfriend are going steady for abt 5 years. thing is, when we started our thing she was somewhat a difrent person than what she's now. she had a strong personality, a voice of her own, very reserved and a very strong person.
but in abt 2 years in the relationship, she started to change. she became very moody, dependent,tantrum throwing sort of a person and started depending on me for every small matters. i felt a bit suffocated and told her so. this resulted in many a crisis situations. since im long way into the relationship and since i have a broken relation at my back, i dont want to break up or something. but i would definitely like her to change.
then , tho we share physical closeness, we never had sex. she has always been a bit reluctant in sexual matters all the time. of late she's goin thru a phase like wanting me when im not near and not wanting me when im physically close to her. this is a great stress for me.
third, her whole world moves round only me, which makes her possesive,jealous and at times suspecting. this makes me feel very suffocated and i cant tell her this categorically as it'd create a lot of crying episodes which i hate.
she keeps on shouting at me for very small or aparently no reasons, which i accept without getting angry most of the time. yet she keeps on saying that she loves me and shows it in all the ways too.
i sometimes feel i m losing out my identity while adjusting with her.
please tell me what i should do to make the relation better .i feel very afraid if would kill the relationship one day if i go on like this.
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
em, i dunno how to say this but i was abused before and after it i became very wary of my boyfriend (jealous) and bitchy and fighting the whole time because i never told him so i was bottling it up, make sure nothing happened her, i mean no-one changes that quick unless they are going to menopause! More than likely nothing happened but just ask her because if you broke up with her and something did happen then her world would come crashing down because the one person she could trust left her to deal on her own.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer