In love with counselor

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Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
where do i start.i have anumber of falled relationships with a 35 yr old woman i was recently in a relationship for 18 months wich had its problems.we went for councelling wich in the short term did help but over a period of seeing my councellor i started to develope very strong feelings for him.i split with my partner and then went back in to councelling cut a long sory short i am in love with my councellor and the other week he admitted he had the same feelings for me.may i add he is married and says although he isnt happy he could never leave his wife as he cant hurt so confused i want more than anything to be with this man but is this typical married man not happy?i know this is wrong but im bloody cracking up here after years of crap i finally beleive with all my heart i have found my soul mate.probably niave of me eh.if u truly love someone what the hell do you do

User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
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I would strongly suggest that you not act on your feelings. There are several reasons. First, his behavior is completely unethical, and he could be disciplined or even have his license suspended if his behavior was reported to his state licensing board. It is not uncommon for clients to develop strong emotional attachments to their counselors; it was your counselor's professional duty to establish and maintain proper boundaries between the two of you. He should have immediately referred you to another counselor the moment that he realized he was developing feelings for you because at that point he lost his objectivity.

Also, the fact that he is still married is troublesome. If he would leave his wife for you, what makes you think he won't ever leave you for someone else. It sounds to me like you counselor has plenty of his own issues to work through.

You said that you have had a number of failed relationships in the past. I think that pursuing this relationship will only lead to more heartache for you.
So I would encourage you to get away from him completely and find another counselor who can help you sort through your feelings.

Best of luck to you,


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