I Want to Mark Him
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I once accidentally gave my boyfriend a hickey, I had only intended to kiss his neck but gave a hickey instead. The day after, when I saw it, I was kind of embarrassed, but we talked about it and he said it was ok. He told me that he would prefer though if it didn't happen in a visible area again.
I understand this, but I find that I really like marking him as "mine" and I don't really like having to be super careful not to leave a mark.
Also, I would like him to mark me as "his" or give me hickeys, but again he hasn't really done that sort of stuff. He is kind of shy about this stuff, so I don't know quite what to do.
Our world puts a lot of stock on "claiming" people. If a woman isn't marked with a gold wedding ring she's considered free for the taking. Movies always have guys taking off their wedding rings when they want to pretend they're available. So the idea of marking someone as belonging to you can seem tempting.
But people shouldn't own each other - and a person shouldn't need some sort of an object on them in order to stay loyal. To go a step further, a hickey on a neck doesn't mean someone's committed - it only means they're interested in sexual activities. So, rather than a hickey saying 'stay away' to another girl, it could tell that girl 'this guy is hot to trot and likes hot kissing.' She has no idea if he got the hickey from a one night stand or not. It's not signed, after all.
So I wouldn't recommend marking or being marked. Those are all superficial things which don't say anything at all about your relationship. I would recommend building the strongest, most powerful level of trust and love that you can - and respecting each other's feelings. That creates an inner glow that all can see from miles away.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com