She Likes to Nude Sunbathe - I Don't Want Her To
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I'm living in Europe, where topless at the beach or being nude in the sauna is for most people a normal thing.
Maybe i'm being a bit old fashion but nudity isn't a normal thing for me.
Now my girlfriend is sunbathing topless at the beach and is going nude to a mixed sauna. I'm fine with her doing this, that's not the problem. But when i asked her last time if she would stop doing this when i did ever have a problem with this, she said that she would continue doing this, because she thinks its normal and that it was my problem that i did have a problem with it.
she says she really loves me a lot, but with this answer i get a feeling that she doesn't love me enough because she would coninue doing this, even when i have a big problem with this, what do you think ?
Is it normal when she likes to do this, not to consider the feelings of her boyfriend when he did have a problem with it ?
Now i'm not asking her to stop laying topless or going nude to a sauna, but i have a problem if she says to continu doing this when i would have a problem with it, is this a normal thing and what can i do about it ?
I would really have a problem too if there's a guy that i really do not like with her at the beach when she's topless or at the sauna, or when she's at the local gym being nude in the sauna with some of the bodybuilding guys around her. If she does that, that would be over the limit for me, and if she says that she would continue doing this, i think the relation would be over.
I really feel that when she's with her male friends or the guys at the local gym at the beach or at the sauna she should look at me and check if i'm ok with it or else stop doing this, don't you think so ?
thanks for your help with these questions
We all have different things we're comfortable with and in the end it comes down to how well a couple is matched. Let's say I adore going out dancing. Let's say my boyfriend absolutely hates the idea of me being in public "wiggling around" and wants me to sit at home. I'm not "wrong" for wanting to dance. He's not "wrong" for having his morals. But we're simply not a good match for each other.
It would be wrong for him to try to force me to change in order to fit his needs. I love dancing, I should be able to dance.
It would be wrong for me to have to be berated every day for something I enjoy doing. Especially with so many millions of people out there who wouldn't mind having a dancing girlfriend.
Either you trust her or you don't. I realize you get jealous about people looking at her breasts - but apparently you don't get jealous about people looking at her arms or legs. They're all just body parts. Heck, it's the eyes that are the windows to the soul, and the lips that draw in thoughts of romance, but you don't want her to wear a face mask :).
So I say if you do love her you have to accept her, and maybe talk with a counselor about ways to release your fears and worries about people appreciating her lovely shape. After all, she won't have it for long - we all age and sag. So this isn't a life-long problem.
If your need to have a covered-up girlfriend is your main need, then you need to find a girlfriend more in tune with the way you think.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com