How to explain it to them?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I am 13 and my boyfriend is 16. I live in South Carolina and he lives in kentucky where all of my family lives at. We got engaged about 2 months ago and we don't think we will get married any time soon, unless we could some how explain it to our parents and get them to sign the papers allowing us too. Any advice on how to tell our parents and get them to sign the papers would be fantastic. Please and thank you. Advice
How long have you been dating? If you are only 13, then my guess is your parents won't be thrilled about this. Do they know this boy and approve of him as a boyfriend? Do they know you are serious about each other? You don't want to spring this on them as a surprise - you want to ease them into the idea.

My advice is to make a plan. You and your fiancée have the rest of your lives to be together, so there is little need to rush now. Have get-togethers with both families - have him over to spend time with your family, and you go spend time with his. Have events that involve both sets of parents.

You might live in different states, but that just means you have to try harder. You want everyone to understand you two are serious about each other, and to start to feel comfortable with sharing your families. Think of it as easing them into the idea! Take a year or two or three if that's what it will take. Be smart about this, and work on being patient. :)

When you get the sense that both sets of parents understand you are in this for the long haul, then broach the subject by asking how they would feel about you getting married some day. Maybe they will be all for it! Take your time, do things slowly, and you will have the best chance of having them sign your marriage papers when the time comes.

-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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