She's Using Me as Backup

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Hi, well it all started about the beginning of May this year and we met through a game we both play. I happen to live about an hour and half away from each other and we started talking and flirting. Then I found out that she has a boyfriend but she was only telling me things bad about him. That goes on for about a week or two and then she told me that she wont talk about it anymore for some reason.

I went go to see her because she had been asking me to for a while. This whole time she is flirting with me but not around her bf. So I go the first time and we have fun, and the next time was a few days after that with my sister. The last time it was just me and her for a few hours and she was really flirty. We watched a movie and she just laid there with me.

I try not to flirt as much with her as she does with me. But I cant seem to not stop liking her more and more each time we talk or see each other. We have a lot in common as of ideals, beliefs, and just our out look on life. When we are hanging out together we are always having fun no matter what.

We have also text each other every morning greeting each other and through out the day since almost the beginning.

So in the end do I just lay low or do I tell her that I am starting to fall for her? I haven't been this confused in a long time. Advice
I think the key thing here is that she has a boyfriend, she's hiding you from him, and she's clearly lying to him about you. That is a clear danger sign. And if she's willing to do that to him, she'll be just as willing to do that to you when you guys run into trouble. All relationships hit hurdles, and her way of dealing with them is turning to a new guy.

I would tell her you're interested in dating her, and that you need to know what's going on with her boyfriend. It's the honorable thing to do. If she is going to treat you with respect, she needs to start now.

Good luck!

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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