'True Love' wouldn't have broken your heart

So I dated a guy for 2 years and I loved him with all of my heart. I would have done anything for him. I would have married him in a heartbeat. While we were dating we would talk about being together forever and he would always say that he would never leave me. We talked all the time about what our future would be like. We had names picked out for our future kids and where we wanted to live and when we wanted to get married. I was so in love, I never thought he would break up with me.

Now that he has, I wonder what did I do wrong and how can I fix it. Every night I have to listen to music or watch movies, sometimes until the sun comes up, just to try to fall asleep. Every night I have the same dream, but each night it ends differently. One night I am talking to him and everything is perfect again and I wake up and cry because I know it,s not. The next night we,re talking again, but this time is a replay of the night we broke up. Also leaving me in tears when I wake up. I came to this website to try to feel a little less helpless. What I got out of all this was to ignore your ex and give them time and space and to have fun with friends. I understand all of what is being said, but when someone that you are truly in love with leaves you with no explanation, it,s really hard to pretend like everything is ok. I act happy and put on a fake smile for everyone I see, but when I,m alone I can,t hold it in. I can,t bring myself to be happy when I know that the guy I planned my future around may not ever want to be with me again.

I,m trying to tell myself that I need to move on because a "true love" wouldn,t have hurt me. He would have been there for me when I needed him the most. When I had no one else to turn to, he would have been there for me if he truly loved me and he wasn,t.





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