http://www.wineintro.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=368578#Post368578

Welcome to the forum Joujou.

I think that you will receive some help here ~ many other have

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Hi Joujou



It is unusual, in this day & age, in many cultures, to find a 25-year-old who has never had a relationship of any kind.

For those who, like you, have never dated, or kissed, there is often a religious or cultural reason. Is that the case with you?
You appear to be from France ~ is that right?



The thing is, most young men would find it very daunting to receive a letter from a 25-year-old colleague, who considers herself 'just a 12 years old girl at heart', who wants him to give her her first kiss ~ especially as she wants it to come from her 'one and only'.

For one thing, it's a huge amount of pressure for him to be under. He has to accept a woman who has been waiting only for him ~ and he may not be ready for a one and only ~ or his soul mate may not be you. In fact, neither of you might know who is their one & only until they get to know people better.

It's not really the done thing to tell a man you work with that you want him to give you your first kiss ~ yet it does seem perfectly acceptable for young men to expect young women to have sex on the first date. It's strange in some ways.

But there will be young men, who, like you, do not want a relationhip with someone, unless they are in love ~ or at least feel that this could be 'the one'.

I felt that way too ~ Nat King Cole's song, 'When I fall in love, it will be forever', really meant something to me. I dated only one boy and we are still happily together 34 years later.

I agree with Baby Blue:



Just to clarify ~ this person you have 'a super deeper crush' on ~ has he asked you out?

I think that it would be better to get to know a lot of young people, as friends, and allow a relationship to build on friendship.

When I'm happy I sometimes sing snippets of songs - even when they don't make a lot of sense or are very appropriate. Often times I'll sing a portion of a song [from Jimmy Rodgers' "Kisses Sweeter than Wine"] - "When I was a young lad and never been kissed, I got to thinking it over what I had missed...."

My wonderful wife, Marge, laughs and says, "Carl you were NEVER unkissed!"

But to get serious, the fact that the person was distant with you at work could perhaps because he fears that personal romantic overtures would be inappropriate in a work environment. But my intuition suggests that maybe he wants the involvement with you to be a secret thing. This may not be true, but if it might be true, I personally would not want such a dark and hidden relationship.

I'd want my friendship, or romance, to be out in the open and one of which I could be proud and joyful.

I wish for you kisses which are from a loving, caring person who respects you as a person, and enjoys your company, and wants the best for you.

thanx all for your answers i agree it was something childish but it was what i felt that night i wrote the note it's done .i kind of regret it now but it's not like i slept with him or something the problem maybe is my look im blond hot but it's just my look im virgin i preserve my self for my one and only the problem everybody thinks that im a slut or something i mean the they judge my outside they don't know im a good girl and im just tired of waiting for mr prince charming i don't want a whatever guy i want the one that deserves all my life waiting for him and im so tempted by just kissing the first cute guy that i meet but your answers just showed me that im a rare diamond and i deserve the king charming himself.thx a lot

Never feel forced to do what others think you should do ~ be yourself. Stick to your principles. You are still young & your Prince Charming will be pleased that you waited for him

hi again i might become very anoying but it's just that new guy he's nice and sweet but not at all my type he's with us at work giving us some help from the office in germany he was supposed to leave friday but he told that he's staying because of me coz he felt in love with me i was completely surprised oh my god what does he want from me? im completely lost what should i do?

Neither Marge nor I are the physical types we would have chosen. Yet, we are best friends and soul mates, and interactive love that never bores.

It's not a matter of should, but what your heart wants. Have you dated? Have you talked about things that you like? Would your conversations always be enthralling. Do you miss him when you're apart? Does dancing with him thrill you?

And do you want him to kiss you?

hi all its me again the german guy asked me out oh gosh he's so sweet but not at all my type i mean seriously girls with asses like mine don't talk with guys with faces like his.just kidding but seriously is he the one i've waited for my whole life i mean carl i understand what you are talking about but what am i supposed to do because he was so serious in his talk he talked about marriage and im the girl he wants to spend his life with .im freaking out.im still young maybe but im old fashioned just like my nany and i take things seriously what should i do.thx a lot everyone your answers mean the world to me.thx wich you all health,happiness and love.

Is this the same man you sent the letter to?


Are you saying that he is nice, but that you are not attracted to him?
Or are you attracted to him, in spite of him being different from the type you expected to like?


I don't know.
Is he?
What do you think?

this new guy from germany he's so nice so caring and he looks at me like im the 8th wonder of the world but i just don't love him im not at all atracted to him so i went out out with him to give "us" a chance but i just can lie i don't feel anything for him.

Well, Joujou, if you don't, you don't. That's just the way it is.
Life and love are rarely simple
Good luck!

It sounds like you are ready to experience life and love and want to continue to make the right decisions to find the person that is right for you.

This is an important step for you and like anything important where you lack experience it should be taken slowly. Try developing your social skills in a no pressure situation with group dateing.

you will begin dateing men that have been dateing for a few years and have much more experience and some of it not all positive.

You want to look for the man of your dreams where you know the best character traits will be found.

Intellectual gathering spots, lectures, mutual interest groups, church, entertainment venues other than night clubs etc.

Sharing tips with female friends will definitely get you up to speed on what to avoid and how to handle negative situations.

You wouldn't just drive a car without training, so don't start the most important phase of your life without the same.

Be careful, be smart, be optimistic, be positive, be sincere, be alert, and don't be naive to the extent that you are blinded to deception and mis interpret it for true love.

You are a precious gift as you have been told, and if you conduct your self as such, you will find your true love. Don't look for diamonds where they won't be found and you will be fine.

thx all for your responds as you said pdm when we don't we simply don't i couldn't lie to the guy i just can't feel him at all i gently told him that im not ready for a story for the moment he can't accept it im so sorry for him but im sure once he'll go back to germany he'll be just fine.it's just that im so tired of waiting my one and only but im gonna keep waiting he 'll come people and he's gonna so much better than what i waited my whole life for won't he? wich you all love the true one,health and happiness.

i just love the other guy i know he told me he can't be with me but i love him i do but i just don't talk to him coz he was acting as a total jerk with me but i love him why for god sake love is so complicated

Unrequited love is bittersweet. It's not uncommon. It's just something one has to come to terms with.

No-one would actually want to share their lives with someone who didn't care for them, so, they wait, and they hope that, in time, they will fall in love again ~ with someone who wants to share their life and make them happy.

Good luck!