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Posted By: madcrusher I'm so confused... - 05/13/09 04:48 AM
Hello...There is a girl in one of my class that I have a huge crush on but I don't know if she's interested in me. I want to ask her out but I'm worried I might come on too strong because we've never talked, or even made eye contact. I sit right behind her and from time to time, she keeps turning around and looking in my direction but I can't tell if she's looking at me or not. Please give me any feedback, ANY. Thanks.
Posted By: BLR Re: I'm so confused... - 05/13/09 05:11 AM
Welcome to the forum.
I am sure you will get some really good advice.

The first thing that you should do is at least have a conversation with her. Is there some way you can start a light conversation with her. If you know what any of her interests are you could ask about that. What class are you in together? Mabe you could ask her a question about an assignment or when a test is. You could probably get an idea of her feelings by the way she answers. Kinda think about a follow up questions in case she shows some interest.

If she wears perfume you could ask her what she wears because you really like it.

Obvisouly you have to talk to her to ask her out, so that should be your first step.

Good luck - be brave
Posted By: madcrusher Re: I'm so confused... - 05/13/09 05:24 AM
thx...i needed a confidence boost
Posted By: Chocoemilk Re: I'm so confused... - 05/13/09 06:38 AM
Completely agree with BLR, specially about the follow up questions part. Sometimes you start great but then you just get stuck, so try to think of a conversation way in advance, those kind of questions are really good to start talking, if things go right, you should be sharing interests soon enough, but don't just jump right to it after a class related question haha, let the conversation flow naturally. Be brave and patient!
Posted By: joandboys Re: I'm so confused... - 05/13/09 04:54 PM
Girl body language is really hard to figure out but when you do it will help.

After this long she knows you sit right behind her that is for sure.

She could be turning around for several reasons, like looking at something or someone else.

She could be turning around because she is glanceing at you or giving you the chance to show interest.

She could be turning around because she senses you are looking at her and is giving you the chance to respond.

Speaking from the female perspective, if she is looking at something else that is an opportunity to "show interest in her".

If she is turning around to glance at you,(again) this is an opportunity and she is (giving you the chance on purpose)

If she is turning around because she senses you are looking at her, (she is probably giving you the chance because she would ignore you if she didn't "want" a response.

You mentioned you are not making eye contact, but it is obvious that you don't know if she is looking at something else because you "quickly glance away" when she turns around. Make no mistake, she has probably seen you quickly glanceing away and knows you are looking at her. Even if she is looking at something else, she can see you out of the corner of her eye. Women do this, it is how they see who is in the room but shyly just like guys.

The easiest thing you can do next time is just get up the courage to look straight at her. She will see it out of the corner of her eye and she will either make eye contact or turn back around because she is shy also.

If she looks just smile. Maybe even say Hi.

Voila, the door is open. You can post again if your not sure what her response meant. But I bet you will.
Posted By: madcrusher Re: I'm so confused... - 05/13/09 06:31 PM
Thank you all. I'll definitely try all your advices today.
Posted By: PDM Re: I'm so confused... - 05/14/09 12:22 AM
Hi Madcrusher & welcome.

I hope it goes well ~ I'd say that you have been given some very good advice here smile

Good luck!
Posted By: madcrusher Re: I'm so confused... - 05/15/09 10:05 PM
Here's the update on my story. I tried to make eye contact but I couldnt because she didnt look in my direction at all today. I'm not sure how i should read it as but it's making my days miserable to keep guessing. I was thinking of skipping all the small talks and just tell her how i feel and ask her out. At least i'll be certain after that and get it all over with. Please tell me if u think thats a good idea. Thanks
Posted By: BLR Re: I'm so confused... - 05/15/09 10:53 PM
Well if you do that it might work. But if she says no, please keep in mind that you might catch her so off guard that the "no" might just be a reaction. So if she says no, tell her if she changes her mind to let you know.
Posted By: joandboys Re: I'm so confused... - 05/17/09 03:02 AM
BLR has a good point.

Another thought is that now days most people kinda take it slow and see if there is eye contact and smiles or interest before they jump in with expressing feelings and asking someone out.

Girls do appreciate honesty and the direct approach but you probably want to get some sign that she is receptive. That way, you won't have your ego bruised if she turns out to not be interested.

If she is shy or if she is just careful about who she goes out with, you don't want to freak her out by coming on too strong too quickly.

Be patient, you will know what is going on if you can just get direct eye contact even once or twice.

I remember when I had a crush on a guy in high school, I used to make sure that I walked down the same hallway every day and pass him so that I could make eye contact. People have to look where they are going and sooner or later they have to look at you if you are walking past them.
Posted By: madcrusher Re: I'm so confused... - 05/17/09 06:16 AM
So you suggest i purposely "bump" in to her? I'm worried she'll think i'm stalking smile
Posted By: madcrusher Re: I'm so confused... - 05/18/09 05:44 AM
Okay, sorry to bother everyone again. The other day when we were in class, she finally turned around and asked me a question about an exam that we're about to have in a few days. I was caught off guard so all i could do was answer her question and kinda went back to taking notes. After class, we bumped in to each other again and it seemed like she was looking for something so i offered to help and so we walked together as i showed her the room she was looking for. It was an awkward conversation as we walked with lots of silence in between. I kinda stuttered but i managed to ask if she wanted to study for the test in the library and she said yeah. At the library we studied and kinda talked. She asked me a few questions about myself and my major and i did the same. During that time i sensed that she could be interested but maybe its just me. Here's the thing that really got to me. Then come the day of the test, i finished first so i left the classroom but i waited for her outside to ask her how she think she did. When she came out, she just gave me a simple answer "good i think". I asked her if she had another class but before i even finished asking she said "no" and "see you later". The vibe is totally opposite now. I dont know what to make of it. And since then, it feels like she's totally ignoring me in class.
Posted By: PDM Re: I'm so confused... - 05/18/09 02:50 PM
Hi, yes, that is a bit confusing. smile

Could it be that she is shy, or that others have been teasing her about you, or that she doesn't want to make assumptions about how you feel?
Posted By: joandboys Re: I'm so confused... - 05/18/09 03:43 PM
I didn't mean purposely bump into her, I meant just have the opportunity to make eye contact or say Hi.

It sounds like your opportunity to do that went well. Like PDM says, there could be something you don't know about.
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