Ive been married for a year and two months and 2 days ago she told me she cheated on me with a friend of mine we also have two kids together. I used to be in a gang i would leave my wife to go hangout with other friends of mine. I would come home late at night and leave her by herself with my son. during this time she said she had sex with him four times. Some of my freinds heard rumours that they had sex, i confronted her about it and she said she didnt do it and i asked my friend and he also said they didnt do it. I let go of it and it never came back up. her reasons why she did it was that she didnt think i wouldnt quit the gang. she said he made her not feel lonely and when i finally did quit she didnt know how to tell me.she was afraid that if she told me i would leave her and my 2 kids that it was eating her up inside evreyday. i feel real hurt and scared but i do feel like i can trust her. I just want to know if i shouldnt have to be scared.

Hi

She turned to someone else when she wanted you but you weren't there.

It sounds as if it is still you whom she wants.

Can you rebuild your relationship?

Can she welcome you back and forget what went on with your friend?

Can you start anew and also forget what went on with your friend?

Can you forgive each other and enjoy your love for each other?

If you can, then all may be well.
Good luck

I don't know how you are financially, but counseling may help as well.... it could help to get things out in the open so you're discussing them. It could also help you down the road with your relationship.

Good luck with everything and I hope that if you and your wife truly do love one another you will find a way to work through things and make your marriage stronger.

hi thank you for your comments. we have been going to counseling and so far its been going good and i feel like ive fallen in love with her again. I was feeling sad days after she told me but the reason why i was really sad was because i left her alone all those nights and not bieng thier for her birthday. ive forgiving her for what she did but it wasnt her fault she did what she did. if i hadnt of done what ive done this would of never happened.

That's a lovely positive reaction. Good luck to you both

It is always challenging to heal from a breach of faith - but certainly we are all human and make mistakes. It sounds like you both care for each other very much, and hopefully this will help make your relationship stronger as you renew your attention in each other.

I am thrilled to hear that you're going to counseling and that it's helping you with that mending process!

Its nice that you two working on it hand to hand love still prevails.

Having been in the same boat, though mine was after 24 years of marriage, if you can find it in your heart to forgive, then its wonderful to be able to put it behind you. The fact that she told you as soon as you quit the gang, speaks volumes as to why she cheated...as the others wrote, you weren't there, she didn't feel safe, secure, or cared for, and she turned to someone else.

Kudos to you for seeking counseling. My wife and I did the same after she cheated and while we have ended up separating, it wasn't because of the cheating. That was a big blow to our marriage, but it was, as it turned out, the tip of the iceberg.

Take comfort in knowing you two are doing everything you can to reconnect, and it sounds like its been a tremendous success. Congratulations!

in my younger years, i was married, and she also cheated on me. neither of us were happy tho. it was me, rathr than here. it was only in my later years i discovered why i wasnt happy. i was homosexual and couldnt please her.

not saying this is your situation, but maybe its that you were not pleasing here and she had to find that somewhere else?! again, i dont know you, so am only spceulating.

thanks