I saw when Lisa started a section for romance. But I didn't see a sub-section for couples who are married or who are in a long-term relationship.

Marge and I are both 64 and in our third marriage, but we got lucky. Third time was the charm.

We've been together since 12/8/94 and married since 12/8/95.

We enjoy many things together. One of them is romance. We even read the same romance novels.

And we still have date nights - not that any night together isn't really a date. But it is good to have those special nights, too.

I'm sure there are others here who have romances within their marriages or with their significant others. What about it?

Carl I think you've just found the secret of keeping a marriage alive.

I also think communication is very important as well, being able to sit down to discuss anything without it turning into a domestic.

Congratulations Carl, you've both worked at this marriage and it sure sounds a winner.

Thanks, Aerial!

I agree about the communication. I remember when Marge and I had our first "shouting" discussion. I have a long-term (from childhood issues) fear of abandonment, so I tended to avoid disagreements and would hold things inward until they blew, and then all the festering stuff would come out - out of proportion to the incident at hand.

Suddenly, as we were in the midst of the "discussion" (okay, we were arguing), we both suddenly started laughing. We knew we were not going to end a relationship that satisfied us both so much, and we knew we would work it out, so we did. Marge has helped me to see that just because you expose your feelings, it doesn't mean that everything has to end.

I remember an anecdote I read about a couple who would postpone arguments until they could be alone and nude/naked. Hard to stay angry when there are other emotions rising and hormones stirring.

From my first two marriages, I can attest to how much financial worries can negatively affect a relationship. But, I now see that even then, you can survive and even grow stronger when you communicate honestly and lovingly.

The reason I first posted this topic in Miscellaneous is I figured mostly singles would read in the Romance section. From earlier theads I had going, I know there are many who come to this forum who have happy relationships.

It would be nice to hear from some of you.

I think the comments about arguments is interesting. I was reading something about this subject recently. I think I'll start a thread on it.

Honestly our lives are so kid-centric at this point that I must profess that I would not use "romantic" to describe our relationship right now.
That being said, we've been married nearly 8 years and our marriage is as strong as ever.
We were engaged after just 6 weeks of dating so I can't say that we knew all there was to know about each other (how boring would that be anyways) but we did have very similar outlooks on life, including religion (or lack thereof in our case), family life, politics, etc. We are both fairly ambitious people yet would sacrifice everything for the family in a heart beat. We also tend to like the same people we meet ... there are lots of things I can think of that make us very compatible - even though we are definitely not "the same" person - we have our differences - tastes in books, movies, humor - but nothing that screams out "CONFLICT". It just makes for smooth sailing.
We do have very occasional arguments, but it is usually about a transient event or misunderstanding, and not about anything I would consider "fundamental." We have no recurring arguments i.e. about the same topic or theme- which in my experience is a relationship killer.

Yes, I agree with that.

I agree, Victor, that you don't know everything about your partner. Interestingly, though, it seems like we know each other. Do you know what I mean?

As we've discussed portions of our lives with each other, I've learned some of Marge's history. I even have a rough idea of the chronology of it, and how she felt about some of it. And I've shared parts of my life.

And yet, when you stop and think about it, nobody other than each of us knows all that transpired and how we felt about it.

A big part of it for me - and what plays into romance - is that I enjoy sharing life with Marge. A trust has grown that sharing does not take away from our individuality. And like you say, Viotor, it would be boring if we knew how everything would play out.

Both Marge and I are "high maintenance," but it is also very much worth it.

Yes, if you mean that we know how each other would feel about a certain situation - either in the past, present or future. You can imagine your partner's emotions or sentiments at the time.

And even though I don't "know everything", there are few things I learn that really surprise me either.

Exactly. And it feels like we "know" the heart and soul of the person.

In my first marriage, my wife's Grandpa and Grandma were amusing in how they would answer for each other. "Wally wouldn't like that." Or, "Rita would prefer ...." You always wondered if they really knew that, or if it was a fiction to justify their own preferences. Now I know that there's a lot of truth to it.

On the other hand, in many marriages - where the partners felt they knew each other - trust is abused and shattered.

The other partner can come to know the essence of you, but it is up to you to keep it authentic and untainted.

Once I met my boyfriend, who became my husband, I felt that I had always known him.

A friend said exactly the same thing about the man she married.

Does everyone feel this way, I wonder?