RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Dating Not sure what to believe?

Hey all,

Have been with my partner for almost a year now & received a message over facebook (sounds pathetic), from a girl my partner was involved with 2-3 years ago. She claimed that he had slept with her that past Monday & even offered to show me the condom they used (honestly don't know what good that would have done).

My partner has never lied to me before & he has also never strayed in his previous relationships. When I asked him about all of this, he denied it. Obviously, there was a bit of fighting between us & I'm a little bit confused to what I should do or believe. This girl claims she's a church goer & a strong Christian & would never lie. But she does have reputation for being a bit of a nutter & gets very attached to people in her life. My partner & I have never knowingly lied to one another & we have a very open relationship with each other.

She's now gotten my number & as well as her friends, is bombarding me with messages & phone calls insisting that what she told me what true.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? I've spoken to my friends & my partner's friends & I am honestly stuck.
Any advice, opinion etc. would be fantastic!

Your partner isnt lying to you. If you have heard that his ex is a bit of a nutter and she becomes very attached to people in her life, then you should keep in mind that maybe she became attached to your partner, and she doesnt wanna lose him. Also, if she is blowing up your cell with messages and phone calls, then that right there should be another sign that she is cuckoo. Believe your man. He isnt lying.

The lady apparently isn't a strong christian; she supports sex before marriage (not that there is anything wrong with that) so her "Christian" claims were false. He didn't cheat on you.

Hello sezmac & welcome.

This girl has a reputation for inappropriate behaviour and your partner has a reputation for not cheating, so that is a good sign, as far as your relationship is concerned

The thing that I find a bit strange is that this girl was with your partner about 2-3 years ago, and you have been with your partner for nearly a year, so, if she was and remains so excessively attached to him, why has it taken until now for her to bombard you with (false) allegations?

You have posted here because of your concerns ~ but are your concerns about how to deal with this harassment, or about whether to believe your boyfriend?
Your thread title indicates that you are 'Not sure what to believe', so the seeds of doubt have certainly been sown.

Is this all she wanted to do?
Or is there some truth in her allegations?

Much is going to depend upon your relationship with your boyfriend and how much you trust each other.

Her saying that she is Christian seems irrelevant. She may or may not be a Christian, but, either way, some Christians lie and some have extra-marital sex, anyway.

What does she want?
Does she want him back, or does she just want to end your romance?

How can you be sure that your partner has never knowingly lied to you?

If you were to discover that she were telling the truth, how would this affect you and your relationship?

How well do you really know him?

I believe that, in some relationships, it really is possible to know that you can trust your partner and believe what he says ~ but not all relationships are like this and not everyone is right about who to trust.

I am certainly not suggesting that your boyfriend is lying, but someone is, and you need to be comfortable, in your own mind, with which truth you accept.

Why might this girl have started doing this now?
Has she ever tried to ruin your relationship before?
Does he keep in touch with her?
Could she have seen him and re-ignited her feelings for him in some kind of imaginary scenario?
What about her friends ~ are they just trouble-makers or do they believe her story?
Do you know any of them, yourself?

Can you just ignore all of the fuss and ride it out?